Trans* Rite – Day 6

Trans Rite Altar Day 6

Altar after five days of elevation. Today’s rite hasn’t been done yet.

 

I haven’t done today’s prayers yet, but I’ll do them later tonight when, hopefully, the epic. pain. from my uterus will cease enough for me to get through it without feeling like my guts are being stabbed. (The joys of menstruation. -_-) The rite itself has been, well, it’s been going. It’s certainly not ‘fun’ by any stretch of the imagination. It’s pour the water, read the prayers, raise the altar, pray for the dead, even if you’re tired, even if you don’t feel like it, like I did last night. I’ve had no real contact from the ancestors themselves, but I didn’t expect it, since I’m pretty headblind to them like I am with the gods. I can only assume the state of calm that comes over me when I do the rite is a good sign, and keep going. Do the work. Raise the ancestors. That’s the whole point of it. It’s never been about me, anyway.

I’m also postponing today’s rite because I realised last night that I’m going to have to rethink how I’m doing this so I can keep lifting the altar without potentially setting everything alight if I raise it too high. I think the simplest solution might be to just shift the central candle off the main altar and either to the centre or to the side, so I can keep lifting the altar with books without worrying about fire hazards, since the elevation is the most important part of the rite. I might put the snake representing Antinous there instead, so all the god images are together in the middle, and the candle can be off to the left side. Hmm. That might be the best option so I can keep things relatively safe, and still keep raising the altar. The joys of altars in confined spaces, kids! :D

I also have this solidified idea for a Lamentations of Nit and Set for the Transgendered Dead that I am going to have to write at some point because otherwise I will be Nagged To Death by the gods about it, so. I might aim to have it ready for the last day of the rite, so I have some time to write and edit it and whatnot, so it’s not a rush job. Look for it on/after the 22nd, which will be the ninth day of the trans* rite for me.

Also, to come, long rambly post about gender and Sobek and Hekate and other rambly nonsense, unless, by the time I’ve written it, it feels more suited to my Dreamwidth journal, in which case, it’ll be over there (though probably access-locked, so if you have an account there and want to read it, lemme know). But if this rite, and the past two weeks have done anything, it’s given me many Thinky Thoughts about gender, and transitioning, and the gods (there is a connection here, I promise), and I am going to need to tl;dr it all over the internet at some point, whether it’s here or there, so. That’s a Thing.

Trans* Rite – Day 1

Shrine as a Whole

Ancestor shrine set up for the Trans* Rite of Ancestor Elevation. This is after the ritual tonight. Antinous is represented by the snake – there are also some pennies for the dead resting around the snake’s body; Seshat is represented by the book on the right at the back, where I’m recording all the names of the TDoR dead, or at least, as many as I can fit there. The shrine is sitting on top of my copy of the Book of the Dead. There are two cups with water, and the necklace Anubis is cradling is a trans* pride necklace with an ankh on it, which I found last week and decided I needed to have. I think the rest is self-explanatory? 

Wanted to get this written while it’s still fresh. Just done the first day’s rituals, albeit after midnight, but whatever. I find ancestor rites more powerful at night anyway. I decided to use one of PSVL’s prayers, the one to Antinous offered here, as well as a modified 70 Day prayers, and this one here. I also wrote an opening prayer/invocation, and an offering prayer. Apart from Antinous, I also invited Nit as bigendered Creatrix, Set as God of the Marginalised and Oppressed (His words; He wanted in when I was pondering Who to ask for help in this rite), and Wesir to join us, as well as Seshat, who remembers all the names, even if no one else does.

The ritual came together later than I had expected, because I kept fiddling around with the order of the prayers, and tweaking the wording to make it work. I offered to the trans* dead as a whole, like I do when I do my normal 6th Day festival ancestral rites, because I don’t seem to attract individual ancestors? Or, at least, that doesn’t appear to be part of how I’m going to work with them. So I just address them as a whole, and hope for the best.

I’ve actually never worked with Antinous before, but I just felt like He was the right god for this, along with Nit and Set. I can’t tell if He was there or not, but I think I probably got whacked by godsandancestors or something, because I cried basically the whole way through. There was definitely another presence there, even if I couldn’t tell who it was. I had an urge to rewrite the Lamentations of Aset and Nebthet for them to offer tomorrow, because obviously what this ritual needs is me crying as I try to read the words I’m meant to be saying while my glasses get all dirty from my tears.

I have a feeling that’s a weird connection that won’t make much sense to anyone else, but IDK, it’s Wesir’s death, and my UPG of Wesir as a trans* god, and bringing His body back together, to make Him whole, and strong, again. Heru avenging Him. Welcoming Him back in peace. The dead being referred to as Wesir. All that stuff. It gets all tangled up in my head, and I’m almost crying again, just thinking about it.

Anyway, it’s after 1am now, and bed is calling. Will check in with you later, internet. For now, my heart is heavy, but I feel glad I did it. May our trans* ancestors rest in peace. May Seshat remember their names for millions of years.

Trans* Rite of Ancestor Elevation

So I’ll be starting this tonight, which will, admittedly, be later than most people who are almost a few days into it, but Australian Time Zones, man. I’m 12 hours ahead of US Eastern time, so I didn’t see the final prayer til yesterday morning (the 13th). I felt it would be better to take a bit of time to decide on what prayers to use and how to structure them within the ritual itself, and pick out the books I wanted to use to elevate the shrine (cos that just feels important, y’know?), rather than rush it and potentially screw it up. For this kind of important ritual, I really need a day at least to prepare, and for one that lasts nine days, well, I’d rather get the prayers right first time round, than feel like it’s not working three days in. I won’t finish in time for TDoR, but I will finish in time for our city’s Pride March, so. But, y’know, better late than never.

I’ll do an altar post with the prayers I’m using later, once I get the first day done, just so you can see how I’ve rearranged my ancestor shrine for the rite. I’m not doing it on the floor, because I can’t actually sit on the floor for rituals because hypermobile joints hooray! So it’ll be the ancestor shrine on a shelf instead. Since I shifted all the books from behind the main ancestor shrine to the top shelf above the Artemis/Isis/Hekate shrine shelf, I had a bit more room to work with, and it’s given me some ideas for how to use the space once the rituals are over. Which also reminds me that I have changed things around a bit, and I ought to do a proper shrine update post, because yes. Midnight urges to rearrange shrines are a Thing I get, apparently.

Also, in case anyone was wondering where all my Coronation hymns went, well, I was hit with a migraine two days in, and it knocked me out for six three days, and so I only have scraps of things written. What I will do, though, to make up for it, is get them written in my own time, and once I rearrange the calendar/Wheel section better, I’ll include them all there for anyone else who wants them.

Trans* Rite of Ancestor Elevation

Sashataakheru:

Oh, this is a great idea. I was already planning to go to our local Transgender Day of Remembrance vigil, anyway. This sounds like a great way to build up to that, and honour our trans* ancestors. Not sure I have the space for a permanent altar, but I think I have a small box I could set up on my desk I could use for this. We’ll see. I’ve already redone my shrines once in the last day or so (midnight urges to rearrange shrines, you are annoying, if helpful). Once more won’t hurt, I’m sure.

ETA: Oh, yes, I just remembered another reason why I can’t have a floor altar. I can’t actually sit on the floor for any length of time because hypermobile joints. My knees are already aching at the thought of having to sit on the floor to do ritual.

I’ll just use my regular ancestor altar instead, even though it’s raised up on a shelf, because it’s permanent, and I can always raise a smaller altar on that shelf, rather than deal with floor sitting omg which I can’t do because dodgy joints. :D /has all the fun.

Originally posted on Aedicula Antinoi: A Small Shrine of Antinous:

Thank you everyone for your kind and thoughtful wishes and prayers…Still recovering, which is why this is late today, and will be short.

Starting on November 12th and culminating on November 20th, Trans* Day of Remembrance, there will be a communal Trans* Ancestor Elevation Rite. See the link there for more information on what to do and further details on the background of this ritual.

I am nearing the end of my first ancestor elevation rite myself at present (tomorrow will be the last day), so to continue in a similar type of process on Wednesday will not be out of my recent “normal” (is anything ever, really, though?) routine, I think…and it will be well worth doing so in a billion ways.

And, the Tetrad++ (particularly Panpsyche and Panhyle) and Antinous will be involved, too, in my own version…I’ll post details of that when it gets closer to…

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Coronation of Heru-sa-Aset Day 1: Triumph Over Set

Welcome, Great Falcon!

Welcome in peace!

Welcome in triumph!

Welcome to You, Mighty One,

Who seizes His birthright from the rebel!

Come in peace, King of Kings,

The Two Lands are Yours.

Son of Aset, who rages because of Wesir,

You have driven the rebel from the Two Lands,

and overthrown the rebels who stand in Your way.

Lord of Ma’at, Justified One,

Stand tall, and claim the throne.

None will stand in Your way.

Great Lord, Your mother stands with You,

shrouding You with Her wings,

deflecting all that would harm You

As You soar across the skies,

surveying the Two Lands in peace.

Come, Great King,

Saviour of Your Father,

The Lady of the Throne crowns You.

The Strength of the King lifts You to the Heavens in triumph!

Rise, rise, rise, Great God,

Rise to the Heavens, Soaring Falcon!

Rise above the rebels and send them fleeing!

Your aim is true, perfect harpooner,

Brilliant Sharp-Eyed One.

None can hide from Your wrath.

Rise, Beautiful One, Perfect God, Lord of the Heavens,

Rise and claim the throne in peace,

Beautiful Lord, who wears the Double Crown in triumph!

-

Dua Heru-sa-Aset! Dua Aset! Nekhtet!

-

Written for the first day of the festival of the Coronation of Heru-sa-Aset, October 31, 2014, by Sobekemiti.

Coronation of Heru-sa-Aset

So this is the first day of this shiny festival, which is an extension, if you like, of the last day of the Mysteries of Wesir. I wanted a symmetry for my Wheel, and this seemed like the best way to mirror/echo the Mysteries, by having a six-day coronation festival for Heru, particularly at this point in time, when summer is a month or so away, the heat is growing as winter trails off at last. It feels like the best time to do this, so that’s what’ll be happening for the next six days.

So this will run from Oct 31 to Nov 5, mostly because Oct 31 is so strongly associated with Halloween in my mind, and I wanted to break that, and make new connections, hence the later date, which coincides with Bonfire Night/Guy Fawkes in the UK, and sort of reflects some of those themes of authority/legitimate rule suppressing/triumphing over rebellion/chaos, with Heru triumphing over Set to claim the throne as legitimate King. It’s not a like-for-like association, but those themes, along with the fires, are still relevant, in their own way.

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I just need to breathe

Life, hey? I’ve been seriously busy these past few weeks and it’s thrown out many of my plans for posting here. Kept drafting them and then deleting them, or being too tired to think about what to write at all. I don’t mind, of course, because surprise visits by my brother and his family are always great, even if they drain my introvert spoons quite a lot.

I mean, even today, I had wanted to spend most of it writing. Instead, I spent the morning building IKEA furniture, and then part of the afternoon organising and rearranging and putting things away and tidying and rearranging shrine things. I mean, srsly, I didn’t even get time to do my morning devotions, and I didn’t turn on my computer until 3pm. Go me!

I mean, it’s great, because things are much better organised now, and it was work that needed doing. But, man, I had a Hallowe’en fic due today(ish) that I need to finish, and that hasn’t happened yet. Brain needs time to settle before I can get around to that.

I had all these grand plans for a nice shiny dedicated launch of my Etsy shop, Shedety Scriptorium, but that hasn’t happened yet, because busy! and not enough brain to make it happen. But hey, there are a few things up there already, and I won’t complain if you buy them, either. :D? I still have a few things I need to add up there, too. Some I’ve taken photos of, others I still need to photograph. They haven’t gone up yet because, well, see above. But yes, I have a shop now, because scribe, and books, and prayer beads and whatnot. Plz go and take them off my hands so I have room to make moar things!

Under the cut:

- Sobek things

- All the shrine update photos etc.

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Hibernation

It’s nearly time for the Spring Equinox, and I feel like I might finally be coming up for air. Or, at least, emerging from the dark time. It’s been a very deep and introspective time. Not quite a Fallow Time, but more … introverted. Lots of internal stuff going on, as well as being busy with things in the mundane world. Trying and failing to write things, trying and failing to find a job, trying not to go mad and smash things because politics, the usual. It makes for a strange disconnect, sometimes, when I try to reconcile the normality of life, with all the other spiritual stuff. A lot’s happened, and I’m alright. It’s still been a weird winter, but it’s time to re-emerge, and I’ve felt that urge to write again, and re-engage with the world.

So, er, bear with me, if this post gets a little long, and rambly. I will probably need more posts to go into things in more detail, if necessary, but this is what’s on my mind at the moment. I hope this all comes out coherently. It’s still a little muddled in my head.

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Cosmology and Practice

Apologies for the radio silence of late. I’ve been working, and I’ve been sick, and I haven’t had enough mental energy to think of anything substantial to update about. I do have some things I do need to post about, but they’re not quite ready yet. In the meantime, this is a post about cosmology and how it relates to my practice. I wrote it for the Kemetic study group formed over at The Cauldron, and I’m posting it here for posterity, and so others can have a read of it.

Usual caveats that I’m not a reconstructionist, and this is just my weird way of making things work apply. Definitely not a scholarly piece by any stretch of the imagination. This is ~4k words of anecdata. Treat it as such.

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Happy Solstice!

Happy Solstice, everyone! I hope your rituals and celebrations have been going well, if you’ve been planning them. I hope you northern hemisphere types aren’t burning up under the power of the sun. Can you send some down here? It’s been horrid today.

I’m doing final preparations for my ritual tonight. It’s been wet and raining all day, so it’s been impossible to go out and buy any offerings, so I’m making do with what I can find at home. There’s some leftover beef from our Yule Feast last night, and I thought I’d offer that, along with some sort of drink. IDK yet. Depends how eager I am to drink something cold on a cold night.

(It’s still raining. Sobek’s presence is great today.)

I’ll post photos of the Yule Feast hearth later, but it was a great night, and it’s always good to mark the time with others. It’s never particularly pagan, but good company makes up for that. My parents are away tonight, at a friend’s 40th, and they’ll be back tomorrow, so I’ve got the house to myself now. Perfect for long rituals.

I’m at that point where I’m trying to figure out where everything’s going. Yeah. That’s always fun. I’ve been shifting tiny libation bowls around all afternoon, but I think I’ve just about got it organised. I’ve just finished writing the solstice hymn I’m going to use during the rite, and I thought I’d share it here for your enjoyment.

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