End of year musings

It feels like so much has happened between January and now. In some ways, it’s been a really turbulent year, and I feel like I’ve been in an almost perpetual state of chaos. Good chaos, mind; it’s not like nothing productive has come of this period, but it’s still been somewhat stressful to go through all that and come out the other side.

I was going to do a separate post on Yule for PBP, but I don’t think I’ll bother. I’m not feeling up to writing another half dozen blog posts right now, so I might just draw a line under PBP for this year and begin work on next year’s posts. I still got a lot done, though. I feel like November and December were so busy I didn’t have enough time to think about blog posts anyway, so maybe that’s something to keep in mind for next year. More writing in advance and not continually second-guessing everything I’m writing.

I’ve been getting involved with the Solitary Druid Fellowship lately. I used their Solstice liturgy in Roman style for my rite this year, and found myself really enjoying it. I like knowing there are others doing the rite at the same time as me, and I like the flow of the liturgy. I want to do a year of these rites, free from any kind of commitment with ADF, just to see what it feels like to have consistent liturgy for my Sabbat rites, and maybe go from there as to whether I formally join ADF or just keep doing it my way. I still feel like, any communal hearth practice I take up should be shared, though. I feel that’s the whole point of them. This is what attracts me to SDF, that I can do things while solitary but still share a tradition with others.

I’m still working out the logistics of it all, and attempting to negotiate proper offering disposal that sits well with me but also doesn’t offend the Gods, but that’s a work in progress, so we’ll see what happens with all that. Roman (and Greek) non-reversion of offerings is what puts me off adopting them properly. I’ve spent too much time as a Kemetic and I like sharing offerings with the Gods once They’ve had Their share. But these are different Gods, so we’ll see. It may end up being a weird Graeco-Roman-Kemetic style in the end, if I go it alone. I’m still too close to the beginning of this path to be able to predict where I’ll end up.

I used to worry about my draw to Roman household practices and my Welsh ancestors’ insistence I do it their way, but I’ve kind of negotiated around that by wanting to use Roman style now, which I’m more familiar with, as I figure out how to build this into my current practice. Once I learn Welsh properly, then I’ll have a go at doing it Welsh style. It’s something to work towards. I’ve also considered some form of Romano-British thing too, which might be the best compromise between what’s familiar and my ancestral things. But like I said, we’ll see where I end up once I’ve been walking this path a bit longer.

I find it weird to think about trying to combine this with Sobek and my Kemetic Gods, but I’m not getting any sense that this isn’t what I’m meant to be doing. I need a coherent household practice, and mine will be mostly Roman, with some Egyptian influences, and a shrine to Hestia, because I connect more with Hestia than Vesta.

I’ve been thinking about what Sobek wants from me as well, and He keeps emphasising myth writing. Like, He’s picked a writer for a reason, so I can write Him some myths. I still find it a little odd, but it seems to be what He wants, and since I don’t often find Sobek mentioned in any Egyptian myths, let alone any that centre on Him, it might fall to me to write them myself. Modern myths for my Father, that help spread word about Him and what He’s like.

I find it odd it’s Sobek that’s calling me to scribal duties; for years, I always (quite reasonably) associated that kind of thing with Djehuty. But I don’t mind. It’s pretty much all I’m good at, so I’m happy to have a go and build some myths for my Father, if that’s what He wants.

It’s weird trying to juggle this with the druidry thing, though. Because I know that’s here to stay as well, even if I don’t really know what form it will take yet. I feel I will be figuring that out as I go along, and my PBP posts for next year will probably reflect some of that. I’ll be blogging over at Navigating The Star Forest next year, as a reminder, though I will still try to update here too, so it isn’t neglected. I might work on those 42 Days of Paganism entries as a parallel. Assuming I don’t end up tweaking them all over again.

I’ve been feeling pretty disconnected, spiritually speaking, but December does that to me, and I feel like I’ve been working nonstop since August and haven’t had time to really sit down and clear my head yet. The week between Christmas and New Year’s is particularly bad, because everything happens at once and I can’t really relax. I’m hoping that will settle down in January, once all this madness is out of the way, and I can begin to figure out all this spiritual stuff and maybe start talking to the Gods again. I know Sobek’s been keeping an eye out for me, even if I can’t really feel Him around. Too much of a brain fog atm to do much religious work.

I feel like, now that my degree is finally coming to a close, I will soon have time to dedicate to proper research about Sobek, His worship, and myths. I’m aiming to get a job in the next few months, and that should enable me to pick up some books I desperately need to make this happen. I am sadly not in a position where I can just go to the library to get relevant books, because no one has them, so I have to buy them all myself. But I don’t mind. It’ll keep me busy, and I’m hoping it’ll help me write more scholarly things about Sobek that reflect His history to go with my own personal musings and experiences with Him.

I also want to do more research into His Greek and Roman syncretic forms/titles to get a better idea of how they saw Him, since I’m also interested in that side of Him. Most Kemetic recons won’t care about this, but I want to know about every aspect of His worship, even by non-Egyptians, because there’s so little out there anything and everything is important, even if it’s not purely Egyptian. Maybe one day I’ll write a proper book about Him, because the world needs more Sobek books.

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2 comments on “End of year musings

  1. Shine says:

    Wow, you draw from a lot of different traditions. Good luck finding out how to combine them all. What a challenge.

    Good luck with your writing, too. May 2013 be good to you and your schedule!

    • Sashataakheru says:

      Yeah, it’s kind of busy right now. I figure it’s probably why I’ve stalled a little at the moment. I’m trying to figure out how to make all this work, and that takes time. But syncretism helps enormously in this regard, because I don’t have to worry about trying to juggle four different paths or something to ensure they’re all separate and historically accurate and such, and I can just worry about how to gel everything into something that works for me and my Gods. It’s hard work, but that doesn’t bother me. I’m used to it anyway.

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