Reflections on Polytheism

My spiritual life is a bit of a shambles at the moment, too. I’m doing my daily devotions to Sobek and Heru-sa-Aset, and that’s about it. And it’s not that I don’t mind that, because simple and ‘able to be done when half-asleep and just out of bed’ is what I like, I feel directionless. It may be that I am overthinking things, and trying to make things more complicated than they need to be. Wouldn’t be the first time. But IDK. It’s crashed into the chaos that has been the past two months, so I’m just feeling overwhelmed by it all and uninspired, and I just need some clean, fresh air to sort all this shit out.

I don’t even know what I am anymore, except a polytheist and Sobek devotee. Which is fine, but. Not recon. Not not-recon. Not Wiccish. Not, well, I don’t even know anymore.

I think, perhaps, some of this is the conflict in my mind that I necessarily have to be a ritualist if I’m going to be a polytheist. That I can just do my daily devotions, and write for Sobek, and work with Hekate every new moon, and that’s it. Not bother with festivals or calendars or other things like that. I mean, I sort of do. But I still feel the call to honour the solstices and equinoxes, and Kemetic calendars don’t have those, so, what I do will necessarily be anything but recon. Which, well, is a weird feeling. I have many complicated thoughts about this, and I think I’m going to need to work through them rather a lot more than I am now, if I am to figure this out. I might do some journalling with Hekate, and see if She can’t offer me some insight as to where to go from here.

Perhaps I just need to be brave and not worry about what recons will think of me, and what other Pagans will think of me, and just do what makes sense. It’s not like I’m working with a coven or group. I’m solitary. The only one who need to approve of my practice is me. Maybe it’s time to really embrace that, and stop worrying what others will think about my very-much-not-recon ideas for what I want my practice to be. Ignore that perception that polytheism and reconstructionism necessarily come together, and polytheism without reconstructionism is just not done. I think that’s what I’m struggling with at the moment, trying to reconcile my polytheism with my non-reconish practices. And my occasional irritation with the more New Agey aspects of Paganism. Which might be assuaged if I had a proper Pagan shop in Perth to get supplies from so I could feel like I wasn’t just The Only Pagan In Perth, but, no. Too many Buddhas. 😦

But I don’t know. I think I need some more space, once all the Christmas/New Years bullshit is over, so I can sit down and sort this all out. Because I don’t feel like I have the space to do that now. Brain is just … too busy. Too full of stuff.

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7 comments on “Reflections on Polytheism

  1. henadology says:

    It’s the devotion that matters, not the reconstruction, in my opinion. Reconstruction is just a means to an end, namely contact with the living God. In this regard, don’t underestimate the value of being a public face for devotion to Sebek. There aren’t many, and it’s a real service.

  2. MeresAset says:

    I’m a non-recon and that’s fine with me. I tried doing many of the recommended rituals from books. Some felt right, others did not so I pitched them and made up my own prayers and rituals that seemed a better fit. Henadology is right. Sebek is lucky to have you as a devotee. It seems you’re not so much dissatisfied with your prayer life as the pressure you feel to be something you don’t find appealing (recon).

    • Sashataakheru says:

      Yeah, it’s not so much my devotionals, but all the trappings that go with being recon. Perhaps it’s just not going to work if you follow a relatively obscure god like Sobek, because I feel like I spent more time honouring other gods than honouring Sobek, and that just isn’t compatible with Sobek always coming first. But I guess that’s what comes with being a hem-netjer. Making Sobek the focus of my practice is the most important thing now, even if it means embracing different, non-reconish things, and maybe not bothering with traditional festivals. Even if I would miss the Mysteries of Wesir if I was never allowed to mark them again.

      • MeresAset says:

        Perhaps Sobek is leading you in this direction for your spiritual growth. I think it’s okay if you start focusing all your devotions on one god if that is what’s right for you. I’ve done my fair experimenting with contacting many of the Netjer, but Isis is still my primary goddess. She feels right somehow and I feel very closely connected to her compared to the others.

  3. von186 says:

    I’d love to know which recons you fear 😛 most kemetics I know aren’t recons. They may have some recon tendencies, but we’re not recon.
    I don’t do festivals.I don’t do calendars or holidays. There are two holidays I celebrate every year, Maybe. If I feel like it. And that’s it. I rarely do ritual work anymore. I still consider myself a Kemetic.
    I’d say not to worry so muc about how others define what a Kemetic “should” or “should not” be. Do what works best for you. So long as you’re happy, and your gods are happy, screw what anyone else thinks 😛

    • Sashataakheru says:

      Nah, it’s no one in particular, not like that. I think it’s more me trying to shift through some of the baggage I’ve picked up from all the time I’ve spent in recon circles, and from the six years I spent as a member of Kemetic Orthodoxy, which left its own mark on me. Not that I think it’s any more correct than what other temples or individuals are doing, though.

      I’ve been reminding myself of why I wanted to strip back everything a few months ago to begin with, so I could focus on my gods and what really mattered to me. I guess I’m still adjusting to that. And yes, I do probably worry too much about this. Damn my tendency to overthink things. I really need to stop doing that. XD

  4. I hear you about Perth! All I can say is do what’s right for you. In my mind it doesn’t matter how the ancients worshipped (we’ll never know for sure) and it’s the 21st Century, pagans can progress with the times unlike the Abrahamic religions. Honour is in the heart.

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