I shouldn’t feel like Solstice crept up on me, because I knew last week I needed to prepare, and I did fuck all, because I am clever, and did everything at the last minute like I normally do. IDK why I pretend I can actually prepare in advance anymore. But anyway. Solstice happened. Got my rituals done. Feeling good about all that. There’s a soft lingering scent in the air, too; incense I burn doesn’t usually stick around this long, but it’s nice. I’m taking that as a sign that the gods accepted the rite and the offerings.
The solstice was meant to happen at about 7am today (WAST, on the 22nd), which I promptly slept through (because who wants to get up at 7am for a long ritual? Not me!). But I’d decided to do my rituals during the day, rather than at night, so I spent last night preparing. Got the shrine all set up, picked out the offerings, did a painting (see above), etc. The plan was to do the ritual almost first thing, but I woke with a migraine, so fuck that. There was house cleaning and shopping for Christmas to do anyway, so I didn’t get around to it until about 4pm, in which I hurriedly wrote out my offering hymn and statement of purpose before I got started. But that’s alright. It went fine, though I think I did rush it a little. I need to remember to slow down when I’m doing ritual.
Also, I really, really need to get around to posting the Kemetic ADF style ritual structure I use, because I think I said that I’d do that last Solstice, and I haven’t, so. I’ll also post the two Solstice hymns I’ve written, since they’re kinda cool, and I like them anyway.
Have a cut, because rambly post is a bit rambly, and not entirely on-topic.
I offered some bread, a (yellow) nectarine (because they are totes solar Heru colours), and a rum and Coke, because my gods like rum, obvs, along with the hymn, and the painting. I want to do another painting for Sobek, in silver, and have them sit either side of the shrine on the walls. I’ll probably do it for winter solstice next year, but IDK, He might want it sooner than that.
Also, I actually chatted with Heru omg. Took some time in the middle of the rite to do a little meditation, on the off chance Heru might want to chat to me or ignore me or whatever, and that bloody falcon turned up at last, and said more than three words to me. I’ve been wanting to talk to Him for a while now, actually. I’m planning a sort of formal dedication thing in Jan for Sobek, as a way to mark my willingness to begin exploring sacred D/s with Him, and since Sobek always comes with Heru (in this incarnation, at least with me), I’ve spent the year trying to figure out how Heru fits into that. Heru’s unwillingness to talk to me hasn’t helped this, of course, but I persist anyway.
But, no, there I am at this shaded grove by a river, and there’s a shrine there, and suddenly He’s there behind me, and I’m just so glad to actually see Him there. I remember Him hugging me, and IDK. He actually appeared as a falcon-headed man for once, so there’s that. I usually only see Him as a falcon. We talked a lot about stuff I can only half remember now, but I remember asking Him what I was to Him. I know I’m Sobek’s scribe, but what am I to Heru? They come together, so I wanted to know, since He was feeling chatty, what I ought to be doing. And He whispered ‘hem-netjer’. So there’s that.
Summer solstice, for me, is when Heru’s power is at its peak. He’s the triumphant King, bringing the world to order. And I got a good sense of that when He was talking to me. He doesn’t want me to wear a collar for Him (in particular), but I got the sense He had something else in mind for me. The gist I got was something like helping me come into my power, and learning to control/wield/accept it. Something along those lines. Not that He’s going to teach me to shoot fireballs or lightning or anything like that; it feels more like – something I can’t quite find the right words for. It’s that internal sense of knowing what you’re capable of, if that makes sense? IDK. He certainly feels like the best god for that, at least for me. Sobek seems content to sit back and supervise all that.
Not that I’m particularly surprised by this revelation. I’ve been feeling magic building all year. Not in the sense of power, but in the sense of it becoming a natural addition to my practice. The sort of thing I do without thinking, the same way I do my daily rites without thinking. (Well, I do think, but it’s the sense of it being a habit, and something I just do, without needing to read scripts or overthink things as I’m doing them. If that makes sense?) I’ve gathered that it’s sort of the other side of being a scribe/lector priest. I read the rites, but I also wield heka as a magician. So apparently it’s time to hone and build our magic skills. Which I can understand. Makes sense to me anyway. Hermes suggested writing sigils on coins and either burying them at a herm, or throwing them in moving water. (I really need to find some moving water close to me that isn’t the Swan River that I can get to fairly easily. Suburbia is the pits.)
There was also a point during my last noumenia rites, where Hekate suggested doing 30 days of magic, to get me back into the practice of casting magic again. Nothing huge or anything, just little things, charms, talismans, sigils, folk magic, spell ingredients, that sort of thing, is what She had in mind, I think. Might throw in some rune magic as well, just for kicks. I’m considering doing it after Wep Ronpet in February, if I feel I’m prepared enough by then. We’ll see what 2015 brings.
Anyway. Imma go ponder the omen I cast, and post those things, since I am now having some moar thinky thoughts about what the runes were trying to tell me, so.