I wanted to write about this before, but I needed the chance to digest everything from Monday, just to make sure I had everything straight in my head. It’s been a intense Mysteries of Wesir this year, though at least I had some forewarning from Hekate about during the last noumenia. Knowing something is going to happen is never quite the same as going through it, though.
Warnings for epic amounts of woo and UPG, if that bothers you, but I feel the need to document all this here, just so it’s down on paper. Er. Well. On the Intarwebs. You know what I mean. Also, there is discussion of the Pillars of the Naos meditations, and there may be spoilers for those who haven’t finished that first month yet.
The tl;dr version, for anyone who doesn’t want the details is: initiation by gods is A Thing, and now Everything’s Changed, and apparently this makes me a priest now. Or something. IDK. *flails about*
If you want details, it’s after the cut.
Gods. So much of this started with Hekate. I mean, that was probably the whole point of it, anyway, but still. I’ve talked before about how I tried and failed the whole Pillars of the Naos thing. I never got through that first month, because of *handwaves*. I almost got through it, though, but that final step, to walk through the pillars and enter the naos never happened. I wasn’t ready then, apparently. But at least I had time to process everything I’d experienced during that month, and there was quite a lot, given I was meditating nearly every day.
A lot of my meditations took place in Bakhu, and its surrounding lands. I started at a Gothic pagan Temple to Hekate. There was a garden outside, and that’s where I found Hekate’s statue. I also met Artemis there, and after a while, Hekate led me into some rocky tunnels that led from the Temple to the hilly shoreside of Bakhu. The tunnel opened on the other side of the river from Sobek’s temple, and that’s where the pillars of the naos were. Hekate’s statue also moved there, and in those latter weeks, I started there, rather than at the Temple.
I had a feeling I was being prepared for something at the time, though I wasn’t quite sure what that might be, or how soon that might be. I do know that once it got to the time to go through the pillars and into the naos, I didn’t go. I wasn’t ready to face it yet. That’s when Artemis turned up, and I started working with Her.
The pillars of the Naos turned up again months later. I can’t remember the context, just that Hekate pushed me through, because I still wasn’t ready to go through myself. I wouldn’t be ready until I could walk through those gates willingly, and with confidence.
And so we get to the 4th of May, and the Night Vigil. And Hekate’s Rite of Her Sacred Fires. I did the Sacred Fires first, because I knew I didn’t have all night to waste on ritual. I planned to spend an hour on the Night Vigil, just so I’d done at least some of it, even if I couldn’t do the full six hours. I’d been meditating every night of the Mysteries, and what played out was being in the icy caves, naked save for a lion cloth, and searching for my priestly garb. I met Artemis first, and She gave me my sandals. Then Hermes gave me my kilt. Hekate gave me a necklace. Isis gave me a crocodile skin cloak. They dressed and purified me, preparing me to walk through the pillars of the naos. I knew I’d go through this time. I was ready.
They didn’t come with me, but knowing I had Their support behind me as I went through gave me the strength to enter. Inside, I found Sobek and Heru waiting for me in a small room. It was dark, and lit with a few torches. They embraced me, and Sobek gave me a scribe’s pallet. They led me over to an ornate chair at the end of the room, and anointed me with oil. I know there was some discussion here, but the only thing I remember is asking what I was to Heru. Heru replied that I was His son, which was all He seemed to think necessary. I don’t mind having two Divine Fathers, but at least I know where I stand with Him. Still interested in how Heru refers to me as male, but I think that’s a post for another day.
Once the anointing was done, I was led over to a stone offering table, and lay down on it. They stood around me, and began empowering me with Their heka. That was the impression I got from what They were doing. I remember my body glowing brightly, and I felt things beginning to change. Some things happened after that that I don’t particularly want to reveal, but then it was done, and I was left to drift back out of meditation, empowered as a priest.
I seriously felt a change in myself almost immediately. It was very strange. I spent the next day pondering some sort of physical ritual to mark the initiation, but it occurred to me that I didn’t need to. The gods had done that for me. It was done. Any physical ritual would just feel empty and irrelevant. So I ditched that idea.
Some of my old tools have lost their magic, and will need to be disposed of/put away/replaced. My ritual book, for one. I’m now using the smaller one I made with the intent of travelling with it, so all the rituals in it were written so that all I needed was water, and the book. The collar and scarf I used to wear for ritual are also dead. I’ve switched to wearing my grey hooded cape, and not just because it’s getting colder, and it keeps me warm. (It also makes me feel like a witch, so there’s that.) I also need a new ritual knife. I have a couple in mind, but I’m still looking for the right one. Buying knives/athames online when you live in Australia is really hard, because it’s illegal (or possibly as good as) to import them into the country from overseas, iirc. Which rather limits my options. But it’s okay. Like the ring I finally found for Sobek, I’ll find my knife when the time’s right.
I’m also considering getting rid of some of my excess statuary. The ones that aren’t really relevant to my practice, mostly. It’s partly this change, and also because I feel like I have too many gods in my room now, and I need to cut it back to the ones that are actually important. I think I might just pack them away in a box, for now, and give myself a few months to decide what to do with them. If I do decide to sell any of them, I’ll post about it here, and I’ll probably just sell them for the cost of postage, because from Australia, that’s probably more than enough for some of the bigger ones. But yeah. For now, we’ll pack them up and see what happens later.
And now that I think I’m just about done with this, I’ll leave this here, and go get a certain Mother’s day present ready for tomorrow. /so late, but idc, it just needs wrapping.
I hope your Beltane/Samhain/May 1 festivals all went well, if you marked the occasion. I’ll be back with another couple of TPE posts tomorrow, I think, once I’ve done an edit of them. I am slowly catching up, and I feel like the srs withdrawal I’ve been going through the past few months is finally almost over. Which is nice. Silence is nice, but I do like to speak every now and then. I have a lot of writing to catch up with omg. D: