TPE – Wk 11 – Relationships with the Gods

Week 11 – Deity and the Divine – Mar 16
This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you.

Optional: What is your relationship with the Divine? Is it Devotional? Collaborative? An agreement of reciprocity? How does this engagement flow into your mundane relationships? or Does it?

Most of my relationships with the gods are devotional. But it does change and vary depending on the god, and what the purpose of the relationship is. For Sobek and Heru, I make daily libations to Them, and keep a shrine and naos for Them. They are the main gods I serve, and They get the most from me. Other gods fit in around that, depending on what They want.

I’ve always seen myself as Sobek’s servant, and this is why I’ve always avoided classifying myself as some sort of godspouse, in spite of the sacred D/s aspects of our relationship, because I don’t feel that’s the right dynamic for our relationship. Yes, I wear a collar for Him, and there is a sexual aspect to our relationship, but it’s not a spousal relationship at all, and I don’t think we want that anyway, even if Heru weren’t involved.

The Sobek/Heru thing is weird, though. I’m still trying to figure it out. Sobek is shorthand for both, but if I took Heru out of the shrine, it would feel like I’d broken it in half. The Sobek I worship is very Heru-like. Heru is there too, in His own way, but I definitely think it’s Sobek with Heru, rather than Heru with Sobek. It’s hard to explain it more without writing another 5k post of UPG weirdness, I think.

It flows into the mundane in its own way. I keep shrines for Them, I tend to Them daily, and what I do is with my service in mind. The priestly things I’m doing aren’t really what some might recognise, such as writing for Them, and because of this, I’m probably not as visible as a priest as others might be.

It also does affect my relationships with others. I’m single, and I actually can’t fathom being in any sort of intimate relationship with anyone, because it would just Get Complicated, because my gods always come first. I’m not celibate, by any means, but there’s just no desire for a physical partner. I have Sobek and Heru, and my life is Theirs. They will always come first, and it’s just easier to be single, so I’m happy enough with that.

I’d never rule out living with other practitioners, if we made our own little home together, and it was more based on friendship and shared interests, than any sort of sexual/romantic relationships, but that’s not really on the horizon at the moment, so I’m not really worrying about it.

I do wear some pieces of jewellery for Him, though. They might not be obvious markers to anyone else, but I know what they mean, and that’s enough. They mark my devotion, and my connection to Him, and to Heru, physical reminders of our relationship.

I wear a collar for Him. It is a simple silver chain, with a silver ankh, a silver feather, and a small pewter crocodile charm in between them. It says nothing at all about what it is I do, or what it means, but I never take it off. (I mean, it CAN be taken off if absolutely necessary, but I’m not removing it for just any daft reason.) It’s not designed to be taken off. It’s the equivalent of a day collar in a 24/7 BDSM relationship. It speaks of my ownership, and His connection to me, but it’s subtle, and I can get away with wearing it at work.

The other necklaces I wear include a small silver Eye of Heru with a sky blue stone in it, and a large sterling silver pentagram (because I am totes an obnoxious badass Pagan).

I also wear knotted friendship bracelets, one on each wrist, to signify Sobek and Heru. Sobek’s is green, grey, and gold, and I wear it on my left wrist, because it echoes His side of the main shrine. Heru’s is brown, gold, and copper, and I wear it on my right wrist, to echo His side of the main shrine.

I wear two rings; one is a plain white gold band, the other is a silver textured ring with a green-y blue chrysocolla stone in it. I wear both on my right hand. It was one of those weird things where I felt which finger Sobek wanted the ring on, and the ring came along much later. It feels weird to wear them on different fingers. I only take the chrysocolla ring off to shower, or if I’m going to get my hands wet, to save it from tarnishing. Otherwise, I wear them all the time.

I also have my cords. They are like a singulum, in that they are red, white, and black cords plaited and knotted together, and I wear them like a belt. I have two, right now, though I’m contemplating another one using different colours, or perhaps one for Sobek, and one for Heru, if I want to have that specific energy with me.

But so much of this is so subtle and ordinary that unless you knew what you were looking for, you’d never know what they meant. And that’s the way I like it. It means I can be out in the world, and have those reminders of my gods with me, and not be read as Pagan. There’s a lot of stuff that goes on between me and my gods that is quite private, and not being obviously visible, save for the pentagram that I usually wear under my shirt, I can hide in plain sight.

I know this seems at odds with my post on coming out as a Pagan. But some people are fine with doing that whole In Your Face sort of dress, and are able to work in places where it doesn’t matter. But I’m not in that place, and that sort of style just isn’t me. I’m possibly getting a job at one of the church head offices here in Perth, and I’m going to have to go stealth again, just because it’s not worth bringing up my religion in a place like that. Which is not to say they’re hostile to me, or aren’t nice people, but my religion has no bearing on my ability to do my job. And I’ve worked at this place before, so I know it’s alright. But ‘I just like ancient Egypt’ does get you quite far if anyone asks, and finding the mathematics of the Eye of Heru fascinating is also an excellent pass at being found out. Perhaps others wouldn’t be so at ease with being so private about it, but that’s how I like it.

Anyway. It’s getting late, and I think I’ve said all I wanted to say here. I’ll do some more writing tomorrow, and see if I can’t knock off a couple more.

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