There’s nothing like being sick to disrupt your rituals. I don’t get sick very often, nor do I get sick enough to take me away from shrine for nearly two weeks, but there you go. That has been my life for the past fortnight or so. My dad caught something, and passed it on to my mum and me, and I’m only just getting over it now.
And so my shrine has been closed and quiet.
I have missed my routine. I have missed the smell of incense in the air, of the peace that comes from being in Their presence. Of opening the shrine to greet Them, and feeling Them close by. But I wasn’t pure enough, nor well enough, to be at shrine, tending to Them, and I knew that. They didn’t need to bar me; I also got my period in the middle of it all, which hasn’t helped me feel any better.
But I’m close now, to getting back into it again. And I’ve been doing other things in the meantime. I’ve been reorganising my druid shrine, and have acquired a few new things for it. I’ll get some photos of that up on my DP blog later, probably on the weekend, so you can see how it’s turning out. I finally got around to wall-mounting a few things to finish off my Anglo-Saxon corner. I’ve been thinking, and praying, and casting healing magic. But I haven’t been in shrine.
I didn’t miss it until tonight, when I know I’m so close to being able to begin my rituals again. On Saturday, I can go back, and gaze upon those sacred images, but until then, it’s one more long day without that peace. Sobek has let me light some candles and incense tonight, though. The shrine is still closed, but that deep peace returns. Their presence returns, after so long away from me. Self-care is hard, when you know They’re giving you space to heal, but all you really need is just a touch, a reminder that They’re still there. I feel that now, though. Sobek’s warmth fills the room, and He smiles. I have missed Him.
I’ve pencilled in some purification/cleansing rituals for Tuesday night, for no other reason than it feels necessary. I have nothing scripted in mind; I’m going to play it by ear, and see what feels right when I get to it. I may do full moon stuff. IDK. But at least I’ll be ready for my offering rite to the Theoi for the following Saturday. I don’t know why Saturday feels like the right day to do that, but taking the time to offer to Them, and get to know Them, on a weekly basis has felt right to me, and may be the only regular rituals I do for the time being, apart from High Days, and my daily devotions. I still feel like Athena is watching; whether anything comes of it, only time will tell.
I’ve also been working on some solstice decorations (I know, it’s only October, but it’s only late October, so), and I’m considering throwing some up in the shop, if they’re good enough. This is what I get for looking through the craft bin at my op shop, when it’s a slow day, and I’m looking for something to do.
In many ways, this pause has been quite productive, even if I haven’t been in shrine. And that’s good. But I still miss the daily rhythm of morning and evening rituals, and the scent of incense on the breeze, and I can’t wait to get back into it again.