Keeping silence for the dead

It’s been a strange week. I’m only just beginning to feel the energies from last week’s ancestral rites receding. It hasn’t been a week of turmoil or chaos; it’s been fairly normal as far as mundane things go.  But I haven’t packed up my TDoR ritual yet. The ashes still sit in the incense burner. Slowly, the water evaporates away. Everything sits still, in silence. All I hear are my own daily prayers.

I don’t find this completely strange, though. I had considered a silent, or near-silent, ritual for TDoR this year, but changed my mind. Instead, I seem to have kept a silent week for them, perhaps to make up for the aborted elevation rite.

It’s been a week of stillness, and being still. Nothing else needs to be done, or should be done, at this point in time. Everything has come to a halt. And now that the rite, and TDoR, are over with for another year, there’s a certain sense of knowing it’s over, but taking some time to reflect and do some self-care, before heading back into the world again.

A lot of things are ending at the moment. This time of the year has all the energy of endings and winding down. It makes everything feel strange. Not necessarily in a bad way. Just as a thing that is happening. It’s observation, more than anything else.

I think I’ll clean up on Monday, and do some cleansings, just to help shift any residual energy that’s handing around. It feels like the appropriate thing to do. I may do it in silence, just to keep the vigil going. I’ll decide what to do after that in terms of redoing the shrine and where things are going, whether they’re being put away, or kept out.

I might have written more of a reflection if it wasn’t 1am, and I wasn’t dead tired. But it was what it was, and there’s not much I can do about it. I chose not to continue the rite, and perhaps that was for the best. I’m still a bit sad I didn’t finish the ritual, but perhaps I’ll resurrect it for the May high day, assuming I don’t run into the same problems.

But speculating won’t solve anything. I might leave this here. More tomorrow, perhaps, if I feel there is more to tell. After all, I am still very tired, and it is 1am, so.

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