So it was the full moon on Monday, and I’m getting back into the swing of marking the moon cycles, with noumenia and the full moon penciled in at the moment. Hekate’s getting noumenia, and Isis the full moon. So that’s a thing now. And so I did the libation rite for Isis, for lack of any other ritual ideas, and settled in for meditation with Her, because She’s been wanting to reconnect with me since I got the new statue, which is nice. And somehow, not surprising.
Isis has always been in and out of my life, over the past sixteen years or so. And it’s been a while since we’ve had a proper devotional relationship. Actually, I think the last time I had anything like the daily devotional practices I have now with Her was back when I first started out, when I’d light incense for Her before school, and read out that prayer of awakening from The Mysteries of Isis. In some ways, I’m not surprised She’s asked to be back in my daily devotions again. But I can’t say I expected Her to request it last night. But I’m willing to go with it, if that’s what She wants.
I actually said that prayer again this morning, as I was opening the naos, which She now inhabits, to begin Heru’s morning rite. I haven’t said that prayer for years, but it’s burnt into my heart. It’ll take a bit of work to add it into my current daily devotions, and figure out the best way to do that, but since She indicated it’s what She wants, well. It’ll be worth the effort, I imagine.
It’s come at a weirdly coincidental time, as well. I was asked to do a post about how I build shrines, and I decided to go back and see if I could find any pictures of my first shrines. I spent the weekend drafting all 4.5k words of it, and gathering all the photos I want to post along with it. I didn’t think I had any photos of my early shrines, because baby!Pagan me was terrible at record-keeping, but I managed to find one from 2004, tucked away in a Paint Shop Pro folder I would never have thought to look in.
And that just brought it all back, how I’d sit at my shrine in the morning before school, and say my prayer to Isis, and to Sobek, and to Djehuty, with the soft scent of lotus incense in the air. Those first forays into praying to gods, and having Them respond. Figuring out what on earth to do for Them. That simplicity, of those first devotions, what I’ve been trying to recapture in my devotional practice for a long time, and I think I finally found it at last. It feels almost right to add Isis back in particularly because She does have connections to Shedet and Sobek’s cult as Isis-Renenutet. Perhaps there’s no work to do at the moment, and perhaps it’s just nice to reconnect with the first goddess I ever prayed to.
I actually did meditation with Her last night during the libation rite, and we met in Bakhu, where She led me to Her temple, situated in a small inlet. She wanted us to have a space there to meet, and She led me to the Holy of Holies, which had a space in the roof that allowed the light of the full moon to bathe the naos in its light, as well as the statue inside, once the doors were opened. The temple looks Graeco-Roman on the outside, but it’s a vast Egyptian temple inside. I’m constantly surprised by the spaces the gods have made for themselves in this meditational landscape.
She said many things to me while we were together. She said She wanted daily devotions, at noon. She said I should be Her priest, so I can work Her magic in the world. She said I’d long ago earned the right to call myself Her priest, but I guess I never felt like I was doing enough for Her to feel justified using the description, particularly when I was still Kemetic Orthodox, and Titles Mean Things to them. Perhaps, in time, I might feel like it suits me and my relationship with Her.
It really feels like it’s been a very long time since we’ve been this close. She was around for a while when I was looking into Roman stuff, but it wasn’t on this scale, nor did She want this sort of intimacy. And of course, once I had my RPD, back in 2005, Sobek was my priority. And I can’t necessarily say I neglected Her, it was more that I had other things that needed my attention and so She let me take care of them. And now She’s back, and interested in daily devotions again. And, you know what? I think I’m ready for it again. I feel like I’ve spent a long time working with so many gods that, apart from Sobek, Heru, Hermes, and Hekate, no one else has really had my attention this closely.
But it’s Isis, and I’ve known Her since I was 17. She’s always been there when I needed Her, even if we didn’t always work together all the time. And I have my Isis now, my beautiful fierce Queen is sitting on my shrine, and perhaps, it’s the right time. Perhaps the right time was always going to come when I got that statue. I don’t know. But I’m keen if She is.
(Also, in unrelated news, I have a whole list of blog posts I want to write, inspired by this week, because apparently all the gods have given me all the inspiration, so. Shrines are first. The rest should follow as I draft them.)