It was a bit of a different Night Vigil this year. Wesir asked for books, so I made books. One is for ritual, one is for heka. So most of my three hours or so was taken up with that. But that’s okay. I find the stitching rather calming and meditative – when the thread isn’t knotting itself every three seconds. 😡
I did some breath meditation to begin with, just sitting down with Wesir’s beads in my hands. Breathing in the breath of Ma’at, and breathing out the breath of Wesir. It was a form of purification, I discovered, as the breath I was exhaling slowly became the same golden colour of Ma’at’s breath. I might try that again and see how that works for me.
I had considered putting a playlist of music together, but that didn’t happen. The silence was nice, though. Sometimes, silence works better for me than music, because I will pay more attention to music if it’s being played, and it’ll distract me. But silence, that can let the mind wander and reflect and dream.
Other than that, I offered water, and incense, and read the Lamentations.It felt a lot less emotional than previous years, but that’s understandable. I mostly know why Wesir wanted me to make books instead of doing more traditional Night Vigil stuff, but it did give it a different vibe. I could feel Wesir gently keeping an eye on what I was doing, and every now and then, offering a thought into my head.
Like how the ritual book, the Ma’at book, is looser than I would normally make it, because I didn’t know if four binding holes would be enough (it wasn’t), but instead of seeing it as a mistake and redoing it, let it serve as a reminder of the dynamism of Ma’at; She is not rigid and unchanging. She moves with the world, and against it, but She is never still.
My cat joined me about an hour into it, and I had to change up my binding a little so the thread didn’t annoy/captivate/bore her. She is now Concerned because she can hear someone moving outside next door and she must pay attention to it. And to every other little noise she hears. She was sleeping an hour ago, I swear. XD
There’s a lot of stuff I still need to find words for, like what happened at the last full moon, but I think they need a bit more time to stew so I can get my thoughts in order and make sure my discernment is good. But it’s been a good Mysteries so far, even if it has felt a bit rushed just because this week has been busy af. I’m working tomorrow so I couldn’t do the proper 6 hours like I wanted to, so this evening was something of a compromise again. But it doesn’t matter. I was still there.
Anyway, speaking of work, I need to get to sleep soon, so I’ll make this short, and leave it at that.