Birth of a Crocodile God
In which Nit speaks of the emergence of Hir child Sobek
They have always wanted to know his name, the one who fathered my child. They talk of Set, of his crocodilian son, demons from the Duat, or even a strange foreign god from across the seas, but they are all wrong. Even now, when the temples stand ryined and the priests no longer sing praises to us, still they ask and search because they do not understand.
They will never find him because he does not exist to be found. I am Sobek’s father, and that is the truth I tell you now.
To assume a god is borne from the union of male and female is to misunderstand the nature of divine creation. Gods can be borne of whatever they desire. I was born in the midst of creation, a fusion of sunlight and primordial waters. I am everything and nothing, and I stand outside looking in, watching you try to understand.
I was the one who birthed the world. I did not need a father then, and I did not need one for Sobek. All is contained within me and I forge creation from the cosmos with my bare hands.
I forged Sobek from fire and water, air and earth, from all that surrounded me. I breathed life into his nostrils, I opened his mouth, I spoke his name.
He is a creature of fire and water like me, of earth and air and stardust. He is everything as I am everything.
We live away from Ra’s court. We live in the borderlands, the oases, the strange, quiet riverbeds, and the valleys hiding in plain sight. In seclusion, I gave birth to Sobek, on the bank of a river underneath a large, shady tree. The river ran into the mists, to a place I have never seen.
The shallows were cool, and I watched Sobek swimming around, as if he had been there for centuries. He is of the water more than I am. He is not so happy when he is away from it.
I kept his presence a secret from the world until he was grown. I did not call the Two Ladies. I concealed him in the shadows. When the time was right, I would bring him out into the world.
He liked the river too much to leave, anyway. I would teach him every day, and spend the afternoon watching him play in the river. Very quickly, he knew it intimately, even daring to venture to the edge of the mists.
He would ask me what was beyond it, and I would tell him I didn’t know. I had tried once to penetrate its mysteries, but it would not let me pass.
I wondered how long it would be before he swam through and discovered its mysteries for himself. I knew he would one day, as he kept swimming down the river to the edge of the mists. They were calling to him, and one day, he answered, and he left my arms, away into a place I could not follow.
We were both much older when he returned. He had the deep wisdom of Djehuty in his eyes, and I could tell he was no longer a child.
He has never told me where he went, and I have never asked. But he returned with starfire in his belly, and I watched him as his large body moved effortlessly through the mist and into the river, silent and calm.
He was not mine anymore, and I did not see much more of him. It was his time to go out into the world.
They would still ask who his father was. They think I am keeping secrets, and assume my silence is to protect the one involved. They think I am ashamed, that I conceived of him with little care or attention, taking some foreign crocodile god to bed, but it is all lies.
Sobek is the child of Nit. I am his father and mother, Creatrix, and weaver of fates.
All that is exists within me, and all that is forged Sobek into being. He is mine alone, born of all that is, forged by the hands of Nit Hirself, the Great He-She, the mother of mothers and father of fathers, from whom the whole world emerged in glory.
Nit is the name you are looking for, even if you cannot understand why.