A thousand of every good thing

Surrounded by immortals. Represented: Hekate, Nit/Neith, Set, Masrai, Artemis, Anubis, Dionysis, Antinous Kernunnos, Bast, and Hermes.

Bowie surrounded by immortals. Represented (beginning left and circling right): Hekate, Nit/Neith, Masrai and Bast, Set, Anubis, Antinous, Kernunnos, Artemis, Dionysis, and Hermes. The plate at the front with the bi pride band has pennies for the dead. Because I am that sort of traditional when it comes to ancestor shrines. There must be pennies for the dead.

It hardly feels enough. Sometimes, I worry about my shrine-building propensity. But once I thought about adding one queer and/or liminal god, gods of margins and boundaries, to a theoretical shrine, They all wanted to get involved. Set thinks this is more important than Wep Ronpet, hence He is here, and not on top of the naos with His siblings. Wep Ronpet happens every year; this happens only once. Or so He says.

I guess this is staying up for the next 68 days. At least my heart is a little calmer. I’ve done something, even if it feels inadequate. It feels like the sort of thing only gods can handle. But perhaps even a little something is better than nothing.

A black candle in a starry cradle to light the way, a blue bird to rise to the heavens, and a bed of sweet incense that you may be surrounded by the sweet perfume of the gods. May cool water aid your flight. May you never thirst.

Trans* Rite – Day 6

Trans Rite Altar Day 6

Altar after five days of elevation. Today’s rite hasn’t been done yet.

 

I haven’t done today’s prayers yet, but I’ll do them later tonight when, hopefully, the epic. pain. from my uterus will cease enough for me to get through it without feeling like my guts are being stabbed. (The joys of menstruation. -_-) The rite itself has been, well, it’s been going. It’s certainly not ‘fun’ by any stretch of the imagination. It’s pour the water, read the prayers, raise the altar, pray for the dead, even if you’re tired, even if you don’t feel like it, like I did last night. I’ve had no real contact from the ancestors themselves, but I didn’t expect it, since I’m pretty headblind to them like I am with the gods. I can only assume the state of calm that comes over me when I do the rite is a good sign, and keep going. Do the work. Raise the ancestors. That’s the whole point of it. It’s never been about me, anyway.

I’m also postponing today’s rite because I realised last night that I’m going to have to rethink how I’m doing this so I can keep lifting the altar without potentially setting everything alight if I raise it too high. I think the simplest solution might be to just shift the central candle off the main altar and either to the centre or to the side, so I can keep lifting the altar with books without worrying about fire hazards, since the elevation is the most important part of the rite. I might put the snake representing Antinous there instead, so all the god images are together in the middle, and the candle can be off to the left side. Hmm. That might be the best option so I can keep things relatively safe, and still keep raising the altar. The joys of altars in confined spaces, kids! 😀

I also have this solidified idea for a Lamentations of Nit and Set for the Transgendered Dead that I am going to have to write at some point because otherwise I will be Nagged To Death by the gods about it, so. I might aim to have it ready for the last day of the rite, so I have some time to write and edit it and whatnot, so it’s not a rush job. Look for it on/after the 22nd, which will be the ninth day of the trans* rite for me.

Also, to come, long rambly post about gender and Sobek and Hekate and other rambly nonsense, unless, by the time I’ve written it, it feels more suited to my Dreamwidth journal, in which case, it’ll be over there (though probably access-locked, so if you have an account there and want to read it, lemme know). But if this rite, and the past two weeks have done anything, it’s given me many Thinky Thoughts about gender, and transitioning, and the gods (there is a connection here, I promise), and I am going to need to tl;dr it all over the internet at some point, whether it’s here or there, so. That’s a Thing.

Trans* Rite – Day 1

Shrine as a Whole

Ancestor shrine set up for the Trans* Rite of Ancestor Elevation. This is after the ritual tonight. Antinous is represented by the snake – there are also some pennies for the dead resting around the snake’s body; Seshat is represented by the book on the right at the back, where I’m recording all the names of the TDoR dead, or at least, as many as I can fit there. The shrine is sitting on top of my copy of the Book of the Dead. There are two cups with water, and the necklace Anubis is cradling is a trans* pride necklace with an ankh on it, which I found last week and decided I needed to have. I think the rest is self-explanatory? 

Wanted to get this written while it’s still fresh. Just done the first day’s rituals, albeit after midnight, but whatever. I find ancestor rites more powerful at night anyway. I decided to use one of PSVL’s prayers, the one to Antinous offered here, as well as a modified 70 Day prayers, and this one here. I also wrote an opening prayer/invocation, and an offering prayer. Apart from Antinous, I also invited Nit as bigendered Creatrix, Set as God of the Marginalised and Oppressed (His words; He wanted in when I was pondering Who to ask for help in this rite), and Wesir to join us, as well as Seshat, who remembers all the names, even if no one else does.

The ritual came together later than I had expected, because I kept fiddling around with the order of the prayers, and tweaking the wording to make it work. I offered to the trans* dead as a whole, like I do when I do my normal 6th Day festival ancestral rites, because I don’t seem to attract individual ancestors? Or, at least, that doesn’t appear to be part of how I’m going to work with them. So I just address them as a whole, and hope for the best.

I’ve actually never worked with Antinous before, but I just felt like He was the right god for this, along with Nit and Set. I can’t tell if He was there or not, but I think I probably got whacked by godsandancestors or something, because I cried basically the whole way through. There was definitely another presence there, even if I couldn’t tell who it was. I had an urge to rewrite the Lamentations of Aset and Nebthet for them to offer tomorrow, because obviously what this ritual needs is me crying as I try to read the words I’m meant to be saying while my glasses get all dirty from my tears.

I have a feeling that’s a weird connection that won’t make much sense to anyone else, but IDK, it’s Wesir’s death, and my UPG of Wesir as a trans* god, and bringing His body back together, to make Him whole, and strong, again. Heru avenging Him. Welcoming Him back in peace. The dead being referred to as Wesir. All that stuff. It gets all tangled up in my head, and I’m almost crying again, just thinking about it.

Anyway, it’s after 1am now, and bed is calling. Will check in with you later, internet. For now, my heart is heavy, but I feel glad I did it. May our trans* ancestors rest in peace. May Seshat remember their names for millions of years.