ok I’m an idiot

So I’ve been neglecting my religious stuff for most of the past 12 months or so, bc I’ll be honest, I thought I had just crashed after redoing the bedroom and then got Obsessed with Fandom Stuff and thought I was just On A Break.

Nope. Turns out the big problem was one I just didn’t see, and that was that I’d set up my Sobek shrine wrong. I made it pretty, rather than functional, and I need a shrine to be functional or I don’t use it. And it has legit taken me a year to realise how much I’d fucked it up. That the way I thought I was going to use it turned out to be completely wrong for the way I work. So of coruse nothing ever stuck because I didn’t see how it wasn’t working for me.

Also, I didn’t realise how much I needed daily rituals until I stopped doing them. I mean, I meditated for 45 minutes tonight, and I kept a fairly good focus on Sobek as He repeatedly poured sea water over my head (I am terrible at cleansing, apparently, so I need to start working on that). I haven’t had focus like that for about a year, I think. Maybe less than that, but that feels about right. Like, I’d try to go to Bakhu, and get maybe five mins in and lose focus entirely. That was just my life. I didn’t realise what I was missing was the ritual aspect of it.

I think I have been complicating my practice for a very long time, if I’m honest. Trying to do things that I probably didn’t need to do. All I need to do is go to shrine every night. Doesn’t matter if I use a ritual script. Doesn’t matter if I speak or just say it in my head. Just turn up and be present. That’s all I need to do. Everything else is a bonus. I’d forgotten that. I’d forgotten the peace that comes from standing before my shrine, and really being able to feel the energy from it because it’s a living shrine, rather than a shelf for statues to sit and look pretty.

There’s a lot that He said that I’m still processing, but that’s where I am right now.

State of the Shrines 2019

Okay, so before I start, I do want to say that this is the first time I’ve taken down shrines for this for privacy/oathbound reasons. I took down my Sau shrines, and I’ve removed some things from Hermes’ shrine bc they are sekrit and I don’t want to share them. So the bedroom overviews you’ll see are not quite how they are irl bc some shrines are gone, but that’s the basic plan of it. I feel like I’ve really focused down on only having shrines up that I’m actually using, so it’s a lot less now than what I used to have, but I’m happy with it. My focus this year is really just about magical practice and Quan Yin practice, so it does make it easier to maintain my shrines that way when I don’t need so many of them.

Wep Ronpet this year though was a bit of a wipe out. I had menstruation to deal with, which meant my statue washing and preparations were thrown off schedule, and I had a migraine that also delayed me doing anything in terms of ritual, so nothing really happened. But I did get my statues washed, which was good. I usually do all of them if I have time, but this time, I just did my Sobek shrine statues, and gave them all a good wash, as well as cleaning all the shrines.

But that’s life, really, so. I’ll give you the bedroom overview pics first, then we’ll dive into the shrine tours. ❤

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