Transition

I have to say, I’m still settling into the routine of having Isis back in my daily devotions again. Honouring two gods is easy, you do morning and evening, and it’s fine. Adding a third, well. That’s a bit tricky. Particularly when I know the timing for any specific ritual is awkward because I don’t feel like I can do it at work, and finding another way to integrate it into my daily routine has proved, well. I have had mixed results. I’m sorry to keep banging on about this, but it’s a big change for me, and there’s a whole lotta pondering going on. So you’ll forgive me for rambling about it some more.

I promise no more shrine photos until everything’s settled. Because I changed it up again today, and toyed with removing the naos completely, and, well. I’m going to let it sit for a while, and see how well everyone likes it, before I decide to keep it. But once things are settled, there will definitely be a post on that. The only reason I even changed it up today was that I was doing some DP homework on ancestors, and thought of the Mysteries of Wesir, and how I was going to set up a shrine for that, and once I moved Wesir to the centre of the shrine, now sans naos, well. He wasn’t keen to leave. And Isis now sits before Him, and Sobek and Heru surround Him, protecting Him. But like I said, I haven’t settled on it yet, and it may change again as I use it and tinker with it so it suits my rituals perfectly.

Making room for other gods, even related gods, on the Shedety shrine, has changed the feel of it. It’s no longer just Sobek and Heru’s shrine, Wesir and Isis are there, too. Which is why I am toying with not having the naos, because it was originally dedicated to two gods, and it’s not really designed for four. But I’m still pondering that. I may bring it back if this doesn’t work out. Maybe I’ll find a new naos later on, but for now, perhaps it isn’t needed. We’ll see.

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Reflections on Polytheism

My spiritual life is a bit of a shambles at the moment, too. I’m doing my daily devotions to Sobek and Heru-sa-Aset, and that’s about it. And it’s not that I don’t mind that, because simple and ‘able to be done when half-asleep and just out of bed’ is what I like, I feel directionless. It may be that I am overthinking things, and trying to make things more complicated than they need to be. Wouldn’t be the first time. But IDK. It’s crashed into the chaos that has been the past two months, so I’m just feeling overwhelmed by it all and uninspired, and I just need some clean, fresh air to sort all this shit out.

I don’t even know what I am anymore, except a polytheist and Sobek devotee. Which is fine, but. Not recon. Not not-recon. Not Wiccish. Not, well, I don’t even know anymore.

De-Cluttering

There’s something to be said for the power of de-cluttering. I’ve been slowly starting to go through my accumulated mass of possessions in a bid to get rid of things I no longer need. I’ve done clean-outs before, but I feel this one needs to be much more significant, because I’ve run out of room, and I can’t just rearrange a few things and throw out a bag of rubbish.

I don’t find it surprising that this has come at the same time that I’ve stripped back my practice to the bare essentials. In some ways, it’s sort of a symptom of it. I’ve spent the last week or so thinking about my practice, and what I really need to focus on. What’s important, what needs t be let go. So with religion, as with real life. So things are being let go of, and either passed on to op shops, or thrown out.

I also think this is a significant change because I think now is the time where there is more of a requirement/necessity/obligation to focus my path solely on Sobek and the work I am meant to do for Him. It didn’t matter a couple of years ago, because I was exploring, experimenting, and learning things I needed to learn. But I’m His, and this is where the work really begins. And so my practice must duly be focussed on Him.

Back to Basics

Newly-redone shrine. Icons are on top of the shrine because the big ones don’t fit. Apologies for the flash glare, too, but it’s late, and it’s the only way to take decent pictures with my shitty camera, since I can’t find the good one. I will do a more full proper shrine post at a later date so you can see where everything has ended up, but for now, admire the new set-up. And yes, that is a Feraligatr between the two horses. I regret nothing.

I think it takes a lot to go back to the beginning, particularly on any kind of spiritual path. Once you get so far along, you kind of feel like you know what you’re doing, and don’t feel like you need to teach yourself much. But, I don’t know, perhaps it’s the lot of a polytheist, but I feel like I’ve been collecting too much lately. My path and practice has become too full of thing, too full of festivals and gods, that I have come to feel burnt out. And I didn’t even recognise the fact that I was burnt out until today. But that’s what I am. I’m burnt out, and I need a rest.

It’s not just the subtle proddings by Woden (and possibly some ancestors) to look into Anglo-Saxon paganism (because apparently that might have been what the ancestors actually meant when they were talking about ‘The Old Ways’ they wanted me to bring back, rather than the Welsh polytheism I assumed they meant), or the calendars, and the SDF rituals I’ve been doing, but I don’t know. Somehow, it’s all felt like … too much. I’ve got to the point where I just need to stop, and evaluate just what is really important to my path, which gods I would be willing to spend time with on a regular basis, and what needs to be left behind. And also how to fit said ‘Old Saxon Ways’ into my path in any kind of meaningful way, if that’s what is being asked of me. (Though, I have just started Wyrdworking by Alaric Albertsson, and my reaction thus far has been, ‘Oh, so his definition of magic is pretty much heka, but in a different language. /finally understands the point of runes’. So. /ponders.)

It’s entirely possible this is related to my nearly 30th birthday at the end of the year, but that might just be a coincidence. Either way, I’ve decided to start again, right from the very beginning. I’ve stripped back all my shrines and redressed them. I’ve set Sobek and Heru-sa-Aset on my old festival shrine; They are the only gods on that shrine now. I’ve also kept Hekate’s shrine, because She has a tendency to help me when I get to these crossroads moments. The rest of my icons are on Sobek’s old shrine by my bed. It’s still a shrine, but it’s not one I will use (yet.)

Hymns for Sobek and Heru

I’ve started keeping a little 6inx8in sketchbook as a devotional art/prayer book thing for Heru and Sobek. It’s a smaller Strathmore journal, like the one I’m using for my epic big calendar thing, though it’s just bog standard sketching paper rather than Bristol board. I picked it over other journals because the cover has a pattern on it that reminds me of crocodile skin. It seemed appropriate. 😛

Art had been pouring out of me lately, as well as writing, so I’m taking this as a good sign that the Muses have been about lately, giving me Their gifts. That, and I’ve finally got over the burnout from writing ~60k that Harlequin fic in three weeks back in April or sommat. o.O? *collapses* Or, IDK, perhaps doing all those SDF rites has awoken up all my artistic creativity or something? *MAKES ALL THE ARTZ!*

But that’s for another post, I think. It’s a bit late to get a couple of pages scanned in, but I’ve filled about fourteen pages in about a week, with both art and writings. Been pondering Solstice!Heru as well, and getting some Heruakhety vibes. I’ve been connecting better with Heru lately, as well, since I was going to honour Him at Solstice and whatnot. Like, actually feeling Heru’s presence, slight and subtle that it is. More than once. And knowing it’s really Him. It’s like I finally found the right frequency, and He’s been coming in strong at last. So clearly I’m getting somewhere!

(I feel like I should make some sort of snide comment about how this wouldn’t be a problem if there weren’t +ELEBENTY different Herus to deal with, but…)

Late Night Thoughts

I’ve wanted to post here for weeks, but I just haven’t had the inspiration. It’s partly due to uni taking over most of my brain’s capacity to think, which leaves me with less capacity to think about religion. Which is why I’m behind on my Kemetic Round Table posts. And my Pagan Blog Project posts. That, and the fact I’ve been dealing with two big bang novellas since IDK January and my brain is, like, totally stuffed full, and there is no room for other things.

Such is mundane modern life, of course, though that is not an excuse.

That said, I have been keeping up with everyone else’s blogs that I’m following, and it has given me some pause for thought, though I hardly think I’ll write anything myself, as I feel like it’s already been said ten times before and better than I could manage. The posts about community, and the recent KRT ones about daily life, they’ve been on my mind the most.

Kemetic Round Table: How To Survive Fallow Time

This is the latest in a series of posts that is part of a (new) Kemetic blogging project called the Kemetic Round Table that aims to provide practical, useful information for Kemetic practitioners of any stripe from beginners to more experienced practitioners. Check the link here for more information.

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I must admit this topic threw me a little. It’s a fairly new concept to me, and trying to relate it back to my own experiences that I may not have coded as fallow time is an imprecise artform. So you will excuse me if this post is perhaps not the best, and may wander into strange territory, given my not-so-great understanding of the concept.

When I saw the topic, I first thought it was referring to that time between Samhain and Yule. It was only when I thought about it a little more that I connected it to those periods when gods don’t talk to you, and you feel somewhat disconnected from your path. I also understand this is a different thing than a ‘dark night of the soul’? Though I can imagine that both may overlap to some degree, though more in a Venn diagram kind of way than anything more significant. I can’t say it applies to every experience, though.

The Call To Serve

(Revised slightly and reposted PBP post for this week, because I felt it was Relevant To Your Interests. And to this blog, ngl. Apologies in advance if you get two notifications of this one.)

I don’t think I’ve done much on this topic, now that I think about it. I feel like I’ve skirted around it, or not really mentioned it. Sobek did wait six years for me to finally figure out that’s what He was asking me to do, though. Perhaps it deserves more of a contemplation.

…Ohwait. I did talk about priesting, but that was on my private blog, rather than my public one. WELL THERE YOU GO THEN. Maybe it is time to talk about it publicly then.

New Blog: Navigating The Star Forest

Because apparently I don’t have enough blogs on WP already, I made a new one for ramblings about druidry and hearth things and ancestors and such, after getting some clearer indications that it’s something I should look into with more depth:

Navigating The Star Forest

Because, y’know, it felt weird to use this blog to write about those things, so they’re going over there where I can keep them organised. (This is Sobek’s space, after all, rather than a general religious blog. He wants it to go elsewhere.)

No idea where this new (sub?)path will go, but I never bloody know where I’m going anyway, so this is hardly a new experience. (Thanks, Sobek, ILU too.) I feel like a lot of this is more about the wider foundations/connections and ancestral things, rather than the personal religious practice I have at the moment. But we’ll see. I’m hoping it’ll make all the bloody forests make sense, since they keep turning up and it’s bugging me like mad.

I will probably do PBP over there too, given that it’s a) running next year, and b) I’ve just looked at the draft topic list I wrote months ago for next year and it’s much more suited to there than here. Already planning Hestia vs Vesta blog because reasons.

Follow it, if you like, if you’re interested in keeping track of where I end up with this.

Ra and Ancestral Things

Firstly, belated PBP posts will be dealt with after Wednesday, which is my last exam. Can’t say when they’ll be up, but I’ll have the time to work on them properly then, so I’ll endeavour to post them as I finish them.

I’ve been doing my daily devotional rites for I think it’s close to a month or two now? Unexpected relationship with Ra is unexpected but nice, and I’ve just done a trial run of a weekly ritual for Him. He’s kind of claimed Sundays as His day, which is fine by me. I work with the rest of my Gods the rest of the week, so it doesn’t bother me. Needs some tweaking though as there’s just … something … missing. There’s an element there that I’m missing and I’m going to need to work out what that is and then do another trial run to see if that feels more complete.

I’ve kind of mocked up a Temple-style rite based on what I’ve got available to me. I do have Eternal Egypt on my wishlist, because I know there are modern-style Temple rites in there, but I can’t afford it right now, so my bodged-up version will have to do. It’s not bad, though. More purely Kemetic, because Ra insisted. As to what’s missing, I think it’s something to do with fire? But I don’t know. I’ll have to go over the rite again, once my exams are done, and see what needs to be added. It’s not a bad rite, though. It feels really good, but yeah. There’s just something missing. But that’s not a big problem. This is why I do trial runs, anyway, so I can figure out what’s working and what’s not.