Tara

So. I’ve had this Isis-Renenutet-Mary-Hekate thing going on for a while, which Quanyin joined a while back since I started doing regular practice with Her again. And I’ve never quite known what to call this, except for a constellation. It came first as a ‘Queen of Heaven, Star of the Sea’ sort of energy, and stars and stellar energy have always been a part of this … whatever it is. I’m a polytheist, and that’s how I’ve experienced these gods as separate beings, so it never felt like I was just seeing different faces of one being. There may have been some core energy at the heart of it, but it felt like a collection of goddesses with a similar energy to them, just sort of, well. Being a constellation. Not one being, but several, joined together with a similar thread.

Yeah. I thought that until yesterday. I woke up feeling like Quanyin wanted something deeper from me, more than just practice, but to go deeper and study Buddhism properly. And during the Tara devotions with Yeshe last night (well, it’s last night for me), I saw Tara while I was chanting Her mantra. She took my hands, and we were dancing together on a hill under a dark starry sky. She pointed out stars to me. She seemed very happy. And then, at the end of the chanting, She sat in front of me, and touched my third eye with Her left hand, as if She placing a dot or a bindi or something there. I’m still seeing that today, seeing Her face and Her smile, and the dancing under the stars. It’s the first time I’ve actually seen something while chanting mantras.

And I’ve woken up today pondering whether this constellation is all manifestations of Tara. Or at least, that She’s that core stellar energy at the heart of it. I’ve never done much research into Tara, I have to admit, so I’m starting from scratch with Her. But it makes a weird amount of sense, so. I’m actually tempted to set up a proper Goddess altar now, and see where that work takes me. Things are changing a lot right now, and I have no idea where this is going to go, or where I’ll end up. But for now, Tara. And writing. And all the gods in the world, or something.

Di Wep Ronpet Nofret!

IDK, I was going to do my State of the Shrines update post today, because I finally redid the shrines yesterday, but I have made three drafts now, and changed the shrines up just as many times since then, so. I am taking this as a sign that I need to let things sit a while before I can show them off properly.

I will say, though, that the one thing I am doing is that I am stripping the shrines back to nothing. No tools, no candles, no incense, nothing. Just the gods. I’ve had this feeling lately that my shrines are just too full. There’s just too much stuff on them, and there’s stuff there I never use. The energy was just not right.

I always redo the shrines after Wep Ronpet anyway, so that wasn’t a problem. It did take me until yesterday to actually do that. This Wep Ronpet has had a weird energy. The Epagomenal days were weird, but I expect that. They are outside time, they’re meant to be weird. I also accidentally decided to just do my rituals for the gods on each of their birthdays, and not bother with my regular rituals. My rituals were ad-libbed, for the most part. I loosely – and lazily – followed the structure of my morning ritual, but only so far as anointing myself with oil, then offering a hymn, then water libations and finally anointing their faces with oil. Then there was meditation. I set my timer for 15 minutes, and started with two rounds of chanting using the lapis mala I made for Isis. The chants varied: Dua Wesir, Dua Heru, Dua Setekh; Ama Aset; Neh-beh-tet (slowly).

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Wep Ronpet Eve

Another year comes to a close, and to be honest, I’m looking forward to it. I’ve done my epagomenal days a bit different to how I normally do them. I have improv’d rituals, and then spent time in meditation, beginning with chanting twice around my mala, before going to meet Them.

It seemed to work very well for the most part, and I’m surprised about that, because Heru-Wer and Nebethet aren’t gods I am very familiar with, but both seemed to work out well. It’s nice to get to know Them, and Nebethet told me tonight that She liked the ritual I used, and that I should do it next year. So that’s promising.

Wesir, Aset, and Nebethet all gave me things this time round. Wesir gave me a long roll of papyrus and a pallet; while I was with Aset, I was given three snake wands; Nebethet gave me one of Her falcons (apparently She has falcons? IDK, I’ve never spoken to Her before) as a guide and companion. Heru-Wer and Set didn’t give me things, but we did talk a lot about the Contendings. Set also kept things short with me, and went off to do Night Boat duty. I watched it fly off into the horizon above me as the sunset grew deeper.

I’m not sure what I’ll do for Wep Ronpet tomorrow. I’m tempted to set the statues in the windowsill to greet the dawn, but as I’ll be off to work, and won’t have time to reset them until I get home, I think I’ll just leave them as they are and use the resetting the shrine as part of my celebrations. That, and I want to record my setup for this year before I take it down.

So, yeah, that’s how things are going for now. I might do something more detailed on the meditations when it’s not so late, and I don’t have to type on this crappy keyboard. Di Wep Ronpet Nofret for tomorrow! ❤

My spiritual life is weird ngl

Isis and Hekate turning up in meditation together? Not a surprise. They’ve done this before. Though Isis was all about explaining how much like Hekate She is by quoting my own lines about Hekate back to me. And also being a cobra because Renenutet idk.

But then They bring Mary into this, and She’s all, ‘I miss you’ and hugs me tight, and I don’t even know. I suppose this is what I get for having a connection with Mary and NO ONE ELSE in the entire Christian pantheon. But that’s okay. I like Mary. Years and years ago, I used to pray the Rosary for Her, but it was never a consistent or permanent practice for me. I was actually researching Catholicism for a fic I was writing, and being me, I like to practice what I’m researching, so I can write it better, so. I prayed the Rosary for Her. I haven’t done it for such a long time, though, but I remember it being very peaceful. Which is why I dug out my old rosaries again for Her. One was given to me a long time ago by a Palestinian guest of my mother’s, and the other I bought at the Melbourne Anglican Cathedral (which, holy shit, there is some srs energy in that place).

That said, it is weird to have Isis, Mary, AND Hekate all around you all at once. It makes sense, of course, and it’s something I’ve contemplated before (Queen of Heaven, Star of the Sea ftw), but I’ve never had all three of them together like that before. But okay, sure. I’ll run with this. It’s not like my practice isn’t complicated enough. It’s fine. It’s all fine. 😄

Hekate’s Deipnon July 2016

It has been a very intense Deipnon this month. For the first time, I could feel things other than the gods around when I went to meditate, and fought one of them with my knife. I warded the grove where I usually meet Hekate, and once that was done, we could talk. I am grossly oversimplifying this, but it’s late, and I don’t have the time to write about it now.

The restless dead were very present, and that’s a new experience for me. I wasn’t afraid, just weirded out. But then I was with Hekate, and it was okay. It was then that I became aware that some of the dead were those killed in Orlando, and through Hekate, they helped me figure out the last little pieces I needed to do ritual for them, which I do owe them. So they’ll get offerings tomorrow for noumenia, then a proper ritual later in the week. I’ll also do the 70 day prayers for them.

Which makes me think it might be time to bring back the 6th Day Ritual, and begin monthly offerings to the ancestors. I might rejig the ritual I used to use, because it never really felt complete enough. I’ll set it for the sixth day after noumenia. I’ll start with the queer ancestors, and see where we go from there.

Anyway, have a video of my shrine from tonight’s deipnon. IDK why I’ve felt drawn to video my shrines now when I’ve never done that before, but okay, sure. This seems to be my thing for the moment. Apologies for the shakycam, didn’t have time to correct/redo because it’s late and I have work tomorrow, so.

The new Shedety Shrine

Shedety Shrine March 2016

The new shrine, photographed after this morning’s devotions.

So I think I’m just about settled on this particular layout for the time being, so I thought I’d give you all a proper look at it. The first obvious thing is that the naos is gone. It just wasn’t going to work on a shrine for four gods, so it’s been put away for now. It’s a bit sad, not having the naos, but I like this setup, too. The shrine feels focused now, and I’ve cleared out some of the excess stuff that was making it feel like there was too much going on.

The shrine gets used as an altar table for the druidic shrine above, so there has to be enough space to work as well as be a shrine, and it’s a constant give and take on how much space is available for each. This made it tricky to settle on a layout that worked, because it had to work for my own daily devotions. Everything had to be in the right place so it’s easy to reach, and I don’t burn myself, and there’s room for the ritual book, and everything else.

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IDK, you do one full moon ritual to Isis…

So it was the full moon on Monday, and I’m getting back into the swing of marking the moon cycles, with noumenia and the full moon penciled in at the moment. Hekate’s getting noumenia, and Isis the full moon. So that’s a thing now. And so I did the libation rite for Isis, for lack of any other ritual ideas, and settled in for meditation with Her, because She’s been wanting to reconnect with me since I got the new statue, which is nice. And somehow, not surprising.

Isis has always been in and out of my life, over the past sixteen years or so. And it’s been a while since we’ve had a proper devotional relationship. Actually, I think the last time I had anything like the daily devotional practices I have now with Her was back when I first started out, when I’d light incense for Her before school, and read out that prayer of awakening from The Mysteries of Isis. In some ways, I’m not surprised She’s asked to be back in my daily devotions again. But I can’t say I expected Her to request it last night. But I’m willing to go with it, if that’s what She wants.

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Wep Ronpet Begins With A Storm

…As did Set’s birthday last Thursday, ngl. I hope that’s not an omen of the year to come. Not sure if happy or worried if it is. :/

I haven’t done much for Wep Ronpet, actually, save an improvised room cleansing this morning. Yesterday was busier than I had planned for. Had some errands and shopping to do in the morning before a friend and I headed off to the Doctor Who Symphonic Spectacular because free tickets from a friend of my mother’s who couldn’t go. So. That lived up to its name, and it was awesome (I think I cried most of the way through it, ngl), and then we went out for dinner, and by the time all that was done I was tired and there was no time to plan anything for Wep Ronpet, so.

I did anoint all my statues again with frankincense, just because. I also cleansed with my bells, incense, fire, and water, going east-west, then north-south, because … it seemed like the Thing to do, and I wanted to do Something other than offer water to the gods five hours or so after sunrise. I might write up that little ritual later, in case anyone else wants to play around with it.

tl;dr rambly stuff under the cut that may or may not make sense, nor have already been thought by others at some point. IDK I am playing around with things to see if they make as much sense to me as they do to someone else. Feel free to ignore them.

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Happy Solstice!

Solstice offering to Heru-sa-Aset that used up the last of my gold paint gdi. Depicts the Eye of Heru. NGL, resisted the urge to give it feet as well as arms.

Solstice offering to Heru-sa-Aset that used up the last of my gold paint gdi. Depicts the Eye of Heru. NGL, resisted the urge to give it feet as well as arms. Shorthand glyphs in the top left corner represent ‘Heru, Lord of the Two Lands’. I think you can figure out an ankh and an infinity symbol.

I shouldn’t feel like Solstice crept up on me, because I knew last week I needed to prepare, and I did fuck all, because I am clever, and did everything at the last minute like I normally do. IDK why I pretend I can actually prepare in advance anymore. But anyway. Solstice happened. Got my rituals done. Feeling good about all that. There’s a soft lingering scent in the air, too; incense I burn doesn’t usually stick around this long, but it’s nice. I’m taking that as a sign that the gods accepted the rite and the offerings.

The solstice was meant to happen at about 7am today (WAST, on the 22nd), which I promptly slept through (because who wants to get up at 7am for a long ritual? Not me!). But I’d decided to do my rituals during the day, rather than at night, so I spent last night preparing. Got the shrine all set up, picked out the offerings, did a painting (see above), etc. The plan was to do the ritual almost first thing, but I woke with a migraine, so fuck that. There was house cleaning and shopping for Christmas to do anyway, so I didn’t get around to it until about 4pm, in which I hurriedly wrote out my offering hymn and statement of purpose before I got started. But that’s alright. It went fine, though I think I did rush it a little. I need to remember to slow down when I’m doing ritual.

Also, I really, really need to get around to posting the Kemetic ADF style ritual structure I use, because I think I said that I’d do that last Solstice, and I haven’t, so. I’ll also post the two Solstice hymns I’ve written, since they’re kinda cool, and I like them anyway.

Have a cut, because rambly post is a bit rambly, and not entirely on-topic.

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I just need to breathe

Life, hey? I’ve been seriously busy these past few weeks and it’s thrown out many of my plans for posting here. Kept drafting them and then deleting them, or being too tired to think about what to write at all. I don’t mind, of course, because surprise visits by my brother and his family are always great, even if they drain my introvert spoons quite a lot.

I mean, even today, I had wanted to spend most of it writing. Instead, I spent the morning building IKEA furniture, and then part of the afternoon organising and rearranging and putting things away and tidying and rearranging shrine things. I mean, srsly, I didn’t even get time to do my morning devotions, and I didn’t turn on my computer until 3pm. Go me!

I mean, it’s great, because things are much better organised now, and it was work that needed doing. But, man, I had a Hallowe’en fic due today(ish) that I need to finish, and that hasn’t happened yet. Brain needs time to settle before I can get around to that.

I had all these grand plans for a nice shiny dedicated launch of my Etsy shop, Shedety Scriptorium, but that hasn’t happened yet, because busy! and not enough brain to make it happen. But hey, there are a few things up there already, and I won’t complain if you buy them, either. :D? I still have a few things I need to add up there, too. Some I’ve taken photos of, others I still need to photograph. They haven’t gone up yet because, well, see above. But yes, I have a shop now, because scribe, and books, and prayer beads and whatnot. Plz go and take them off my hands so I have room to make moar things!

Under the cut:

– Sobek things

– All the shrine update photos etc.

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