Always with the crossroads

I feel like I should be used to predicting this by now, that whenever Hekate takes over my life (like She has at the moment), I end up at a crossroads period. Which is fine. I always like a chance to stop and figure my shit out, so that’s nice. I just always feel a bit restless when I get there, because all my habits grind to a halt until it’s over, which doesn’t help to keep my ritual habits going, ngl.

Everything’s become a bit complicated at the moment. Apart from my CoH Hekate devotional work, my Kemetic practice has come to a bit of a halt. Also, Hekate is all, study witchcraft for me, and so I’m actually reading books about Wicca in a way I haven’t since I first started out in 2000; I suspect it’s one of those ‘know the rules before you break them’ things, but I’m still not really sure at the moment. I suppose I could’ve done without Sobek suggesting I might open a statue for Him in the middle of all this, leading me to change my shrine around, and my daily rites, again. Also, Isis-Renenutet-Mary-Hekate-Selene can you stop being confusing I am totally done with this.

Also, Ganesh is back on my altar because Reasons??????? *throws hands up* /idek anymore

OH. NOVELS. HERMES. WRITING OIGUBSDUGlfsjygfksygks. Yes. That is another thing I need to talk about idek.

Anyway, have a ramble below the cut about weird religious things, if the tl;dr above isn’t enough for you.

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It’s fallow time again

I can feel it, for the most part. The gods are off doing god things, and I’m left with my own thoughts for a while. I usually feel some sort of pause before the Mysteries, so this isn’t exactly surprising. But I feel like it’s properly set in now. All I feel like I’m being asked to do is just keep doing the rituals, and take care of yourself. So I guess it’s not proper fallow time where nothing happens, but it’s time for myself. Knowing what might be coming for the Mysteries, it feels like that period of isolation before an initiation, where you’re left alone to really decide whether it’s for you. That’s what this one feels like.

That it coincides with noumenia, and with that other time of the month, is, I suspect, a coincidence, but it seems to be an appropriate time for it anyway. It’s weird, feeling like I could go to Bakhu and meditate, but it’d just be for me. The gods aren’t there at the moment. They will return, I know that much, but it’s a quiet place now. It’s very empty. I may still go there, just to keep my connection with it, but it’s not a high priority at the moment. Self-care, and reflection, those matter now.

I did a reading during noumenia last night using my Wildwood Tarot deck, and I pulled The Shaman and The Wanderer. I might ponder those cards over the next three weeks, even though I find the whole ‘shamanism’ concept in modern Paganism problematic. It’s the sense of delving deeper, I think, and being ready to move forward, I think that’s important. I may share some of those thoughts here, or I might just throw them into my private journals. I don’t know. But I’m looking forward to it, anyway. Which may sound weird to some of you, but I am an introvert, and having space to myself, without having to worry about the gods, is very much appreciated. I am all for the fallow time.

Noumenia for April

Noumenia April 2016

…I may move the pot of brushes next time. *makes note*

GFDI it is April, not March. I am terrible at this tonight. My brain is overtired, and I need to go to bed soon. Anyway. Noumenia is done. Offered rum, and made an extra libation to Hermes. My mother is travelling back from overseas in a few hours, and I’ve had a little safe travel spell going since she left. So I finished it off tonight, and hopefully, Hermes will take care of them all and she’ll be back home safely.

Also, this desk makes a great altar, ngl. There’s enough space for everything, and for a small omen at the bottom. There’s room to place the incense next to the window, so it can not be always in my face. Should have thought of that before I burnt four tiny sticks of incense on top of a jar right next to me. I am terrible sometimes. I am probably going to give myself a migraine over this, I can feel it coming on. If I could get frankincense, myrrh, and rosemary in a Japanese incense form, I wouldn’t need to worry about this, but oh well.

Anyway. We’ve had storms tonight, and my cat has not appreciated this. She was crying outside the parents’ bedroom door halfway through the ritual, so I had to take a moment to corral her into my room. Because of the weather, I’ll pour out the offering tomorrow. And now I am going to post this and head to bed because I am tired af. But noumenia is done for another month, and I feel good.

Sometimes, inspiration fails you

I swear, I’ve been trying all week to write something up here, but it hasn’t happened. I’ve had thoughts about all sorts of things, but they’ve come to nothing. It’s not a huge issue, it’s not like I have a set posting schedule, but I am trying to keep the posting as regular as I can, just to keep things ticking over.

But things have happened. I have spent the past month working on a short story about Hekate for one of the Covenant of Hekate’s creative projects, and there was the option once it was done to submit it to Askei Kataskei, which I did. And apparently it is good, so there’s that. I’ll let you know more on that later when I have a firm idea of what’s happening with that.

I’ve caught up on my DP High Day stuff. I had fallen behind on my essays and such, and at least I now have all my High Day essays and ritual notes done. Check out my DP blog if you’re interested in following along. I will, at some point, sit down and redraft them into proper essays, and not just collections of notes, but that’s for later. The liturgies I used have also been posted, as well as the essay notes for the May High Day, because if I do it now, then I don’t have to worry about it when the Mysteries of Wesir are taking over my life. All I will have to do is write up the ritual, and then it’s done, and I can worry about Wesir.

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And now, the Noumenia

Noumenia March 2016

With the deipnon, comes the noumenia. It was quite a peaceful rite. I used a new liturgy I’d adapted from a couple of other noumenia rites I’d found online, and gave it more of an ADF structure, and I think it worked well. I offered honey liqueur, which I poured across the back gate after the rite. I am also drinking half a shot of the same in some ginger beer, and it is great.

I did try to do some meditation, but my brain was too fuzzy to focus on it, and I never dipped below into the landscape. I saw flashes of it, but I never went anywhere with it. But it’s okay. It happens every now and then.

Also, you can see the new Shedety shrine coming together in that photo above. I’m not entirely 100% settled on it, but it’s probably closer to done than not. Part of the fun of working with that space is that it also functions as a working altar for the druidic shrine above, and so it can’t just be a shrine. I’ve been trying to focus on everything that’s on there, and trying to decide if it should be there, or if it’s just taking up space. So it’s been stripped back a bit, and I’m trying to get as much space out of it as I can, because I like having space to work on.

I’ve also been putting the Sobek book together, gathering all the information and writings I already have, and it comes to about 77 pages or something idk. I’m not editing yet, I’m just gathering, and seeing what I’ve already got, and what I still need to get. Some things may get culled, of course, but we’ll see how it all comes together.

Anyway, in case anyone’s interested, I’ll post my nounenia liturgy below. Feel free to nick it for your own purposes, if you’re looking for something like this. I’ll add in the sources for this when I post it under the House of Life pages, but I know one was the Neokoroi (sp?) rite, and another was a blog somewhere idk. But I will chase those up, and add them in later, because I think I kept some of the words, and wrote in some of my own, and I care too much about citing my sources.

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The first Deipnon

Deipnon March 2016

Shrine set up for Hekate’s deipnon. Sans offerings and such as this was taken after I’d disposed of everything because I forgot to photograph it before then. Black bowl on the left was for libations, the orange/gold bowl was for the deipnon itself.

So I finally got over that mental thing in my head that was all, ‘how can you do deipnon without a crossroad wtf’, and have again tried to follow the advice of both Isis and Hekate, and that is to just turn up at shrine and do ritual and be there with them, and stop worrying about the details. So that is what I did.

I decided to dispose of my deipnon into the compost bin outside, because recycling bad stuff into compost to feed the garden seems appropriate for deipnon. So I did that instead of leaving it at a crossroad. Which solves my ‘I don’t want to leave food out in a public place’ issues that had stopped me doing deipnon before.

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