Tara

So. I’ve had this Isis-Renenutet-Mary-Hekate thing going on for a while, which Quanyin joined a while back since I started doing regular practice with Her again. And I’ve never quite known what to call this, except for a constellation. It came first as a ‘Queen of Heaven, Star of the Sea’ sort of energy, and stars and stellar energy have always been a part of this … whatever it is. I’m a polytheist, and that’s how I’ve experienced these gods as separate beings, so it never felt like I was just seeing different faces of one being. There may have been some core energy at the heart of it, but it felt like a collection of goddesses with a similar energy to them, just sort of, well. Being a constellation. Not one being, but several, joined together with a similar thread.

Yeah. I thought that until yesterday. I woke up feeling like Quanyin wanted something deeper from me, more than just practice, but to go deeper and study Buddhism properly. And during the Tara devotions with Yeshe last night (well, it’s last night for me), I saw Tara while I was chanting Her mantra. She took my hands, and we were dancing together on a hill under a dark starry sky. She pointed out stars to me. She seemed very happy. And then, at the end of the chanting, She sat in front of me, and touched my third eye with Her left hand, as if She placing a dot or a bindi or something there. I’m still seeing that today, seeing Her face and Her smile, and the dancing under the stars. It’s the first time I’ve actually seen something while chanting mantras.

And I’ve woken up today pondering whether this constellation is all manifestations of Tara. Or at least, that She’s that core stellar energy at the heart of it. I’ve never done much research into Tara, I have to admit, so I’m starting from scratch with Her. But it makes a weird amount of sense, so. I’m actually tempted to set up a proper Goddess altar now, and see where that work takes me. Things are changing a lot right now, and I have no idea where this is going to go, or where I’ll end up. But for now, Tara. And writing. And all the gods in the world, or something.

My spiritual life is weird ngl

Isis and Hekate turning up in meditation together? Not a surprise. They’ve done this before. Though Isis was all about explaining how much like Hekate She is by quoting my own lines about Hekate back to me. And also being a cobra because Renenutet idk.

But then They bring Mary into this, and She’s all, ‘I miss you’ and hugs me tight, and I don’t even know. I suppose this is what I get for having a connection with Mary and NO ONE ELSE in the entire Christian pantheon. But that’s okay. I like Mary. Years and years ago, I used to pray the Rosary for Her, but it was never a consistent or permanent practice for me. I was actually researching Catholicism for a fic I was writing, and being me, I like to practice what I’m researching, so I can write it better, so. I prayed the Rosary for Her. I haven’t done it for such a long time, though, but I remember it being very peaceful. Which is why I dug out my old rosaries again for Her. One was given to me a long time ago by a Palestinian guest of my mother’s, and the other I bought at the Melbourne Anglican Cathedral (which, holy shit, there is some srs energy in that place).

That said, it is weird to have Isis, Mary, AND Hekate all around you all at once. It makes sense, of course, and it’s something I’ve contemplated before (Queen of Heaven, Star of the Sea ftw), but I’ve never had all three of them together like that before. But okay, sure. I’ll run with this. It’s not like my practice isn’t complicated enough. It’s fine. It’s all fine. 😄