TPE – Wk 11 – Relationships with the Gods

Week 11 – Deity and the Divine – Mar 16
This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you.

Optional: What is your relationship with the Divine? Is it Devotional? Collaborative? An agreement of reciprocity? How does this engagement flow into your mundane relationships? or Does it?

Most of my relationships with the gods are devotional. But it does change and vary depending on the god, and what the purpose of the relationship is. For Sobek and Heru, I make daily libations to Them, and keep a shrine and naos for Them. They are the main gods I serve, and They get the most from me. Other gods fit in around that, depending on what They want.

I’ve always seen myself as Sobek’s servant, and this is why I’ve always avoided classifying myself as some sort of godspouse, in spite of the sacred D/s aspects of our relationship, because I don’t feel that’s the right dynamic for our relationship. Yes, I wear a collar for Him, and there is a sexual aspect to our relationship, but it’s not a spousal relationship at all, and I don’t think we want that anyway, even if Heru weren’t involved.

The Sobek/Heru thing is weird, though. I’m still trying to figure it out. Sobek is shorthand for both, but if I took Heru out of the shrine, it would feel like I’d broken it in half. The Sobek I worship is very Heru-like. Heru is there too, in His own way, but I definitely think it’s Sobek with Heru, rather than Heru with Sobek. It’s hard to explain it more without writing another 5k post of UPG weirdness, I think.

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TPE – Wk 10 – As Above, So Below

What do you seek from the Divine? How is that reflected in the mundane? Where do you find your place of synthesis?

IDK if it’s just me, but I’m not fond of the wording of this prompt. But I’ll do my best anyway. I’ll also use gods instead of ‘The Divine’, because the latter isn’t relevant to my theology or practice. I don’t really have any unified concept of ‘The Divine’; it makes no sense to me in a polytheistic framework. Others may disagree, but for me, it doesn’t work, so I won’t use it.

And, of course, this changes the nature of the question, because what I seek from my gods really depends on the god. The nature of our relationships are always different, depending on the work we need to do together. Sometimes, it’s not what I seek from Them, but what They seek from me. Sometimes, they just turn up and say hi. Because gods idek.

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TPE Wk9 – Knowledge, Wisdom, and Gnosis

Week 9 – Knowledge, Wisdom, and Gnosis – Mar 2
What do these words mean to you? How do express these principles in your spiritual work? Is any one more important than the other? Why?

Knowledge, wisdom, and gnosis are all important to my practice. They all inform each other, and I would be poorer if even one was missing. I might not be much of a recon, but I still do my research, because it informs my practice. I still use experience to decide what to do, based on what’s worked for me before. Gnosis is how the gods in old books come alive in my own experience.

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TPE Wk8 – Coming Out As Pagan

Week 8 – Any writing for the letters C or D – Feb. 23
Any writing for the letters C or D- I am keeping this familiar format on week 4 for those who have joined me from the Pagan Blog Project.

Coming Out As Pagan
I am so behind on all my TPE posts, and it’s partly because I couldn’t settle on a topic for this particular week, but anyway. This is on my mind right now, so this is what you’re getting. I can’t say this will be organised; it may end up being a long ramble like most of my posts like this tend to be. Anyway. Have some thoughts on Coming Out As A Pagan, subtitle: Or why I find this concept far less terrifying than coming out as trans* and nonbinary.

I guess I’m drawing on something I’ve seen around the traps lately, and having that feeling like I need to be more visibly Pagan. And I don’t mean that in any sort of obnoxious, in your face, sort of way. I’m a job seeker; I ain’t daft. It’s more subtle, and it’s particularly drawing on a growing sense of embodying the role of a priest, like it’s finally fitting in a way it never did three years ago. I’ve spent my time with Hekate, with Artemis, even with Isis, incubated in this transitionary cocoon, and it’s beginning to feel like that period of preparation is coming to a close.

With it has come a growing sense of wanting to be seen, to be open about my practices, to not be afraid of being seen as Sobek’s priest. To wear that in public, even if it’s not in a way people would understand unless they asked. There will be a ring, and a pendant, and cords, but that’s it. The ring and the pendant are on their way, and there will be some rituals once they arrive to dedicate them to Sobek.

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The Pagan Experience – Week 7 – Hermes

Deity and the Divine- This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you.

I thought about using these monthly god posts to talk about all the gods I work with, but tbh, I think it’s more interesting to talk about which gods have been most present or on my mind during the month, so that’s what I’m going to do. I think that offers a better insight into my practice and what I do than just rambling on about all my gods.

So. This month, it can only be one god: Hermes.

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The Pagan Experience – Week 6 – Earth

Earth- The word “earth” has multiple meanings. What does it mean to you? How do you use its definitions to support your work?

This was another topic that made me pause, because I’ve never been a very Earth-centred pagan. Perhaps it was why Wicca never resonated with me. IDK. But mostly, I serve the gods first, and that’s what matters to me most of all. So in some way, this is another hard topic to write to, because I don’t really have much to say?

In the last few years, I have been trying to grow that connection with the landscape around me, if only so I can contextualise some of my festivals and my ritual Wheel of the Year, and plant them, and my gods, in the land around me. But, ultimately, it comes back to the gods, not the land. But perhaps it’s more complicated than that. I might have to revisit this later, and maybe talk about that connection, and how intertwined they are for me.

It is hard to forge relationships with the land, though, because I am highly aware that I am an Anglo white person living on land that was stolen by Anglo white people from the indigenous people of this country. When I started exploring druidry, ancestors, and land spirits, I was consciously aware that those ancestral land spirits might prefer it if I ignored them, because I’m not from their culture, and they might be rightly cross at a white person wanting to contact them. (Which I would totally understand.) So the most I do is offer water libations, ask for peace, and leave it at that.

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The Pagan Experience – Wk 5 – Humanity

How do you define “humanity”? What is your contribution to the collective space of humanity? How does your spiritual path support this definition and contributions?

Yep. That’s about how I feel about this topic, ngl.

Yeah, I bet you thought I’d given up on these. Ahahano. Though, I have to admit I have somewhat slacked on the last two weeks, and am only now catching up with this. It’s partly because I have had nfi what to write for this topic, and I am at the point of considering writing about how hard it was to answer the prompt, rather than writing to the prompt itself. Because I can’t bring myself to just write about something else, can I? No, because then it wouldn’t be a challenge. /stubborn Sasha is stubborn. :/

It’s not like I can’t define humanity, or anything like that, it’s just … Every draft I’ve tried to write for this has felt like it was a mess of vague generalisations and ever-so-slightly-concealed rantings, all mixed in with excessive usage of the royal We, as if I can speak for all human beings on this planet. AHAHAHANO. And I just wasn’t happy with that. And now I’ve spent another two hours writing IDK nearly 1k of ranting, and even now, I’m pondering deleting it, but whatever. It’s better than nothing. At least my next post on ‘Earth’ is less grumpy. :D? /tries to find a positive?

And if you can’t be fucked reading beyond the cut (which I would understand), you’re probably not missing much except some swears and ranting and a grumpy Sasha. :/ Continue reading

The Pagan Experience – Week 3 – Deities and The Divine

Deity and the Divine- This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you.

First and foremost, I’m a polytheist. I don’t know how many other polytheists are doing TPE, but I’m one, at the very least. I don’t qualify that with hard vs soft polytheism, though, because I don’t find that terminology to be particularly meaningful to the way I experience the gods. The gods are separate, except when They’re not. I also don’t exclude any gods from existence, such as the Abrahamic god(s); sometimes I think ‘omnitheist’, meaning ‘all gods’ is technically more accurate than the ‘many gods’ inherent in polytheism. But that’s more a question of pedantic semantics; polytheism is useful enough for what it needs to mean for me and my practice.

Also, for those who might not be familiar with me and my practice, I am genderqueer, and this filter also affects my polytheism and the faces the gods show to me. Yeah, this does mean the gods tend to be more queer with me than they might otherwise be with someone who isn’t as queer as me, but that’s just how they are with me. I mean, even when I go to meditation to meet my gods, my body is anything from female to ambiguous to male to androgynous/hermaphroditic, and this generally changes depending on which god I’m meeting, so. :D? /on which, more later, probably.

As for the particular gods I am closest to, they would be the Egyptian gods Sobek and Heru-sa-Aset/Horus, son of Isis. I am Their hem-netjer(u), loosely translated as servant of the god(s). I am also scribe and lector priest, insomuch as my lector priesting involves keeping a ritual book, and reading from it for every ritual, even the ones I’ve memorised. I also write myths for my gods, Sobek in particular, and my heka work at the moment involves sigils and written heka. Because scribe! So anyway. Not that I’m very good at heka right now. Heru is on a mission to change that this year. So we’ll see what happens with that.

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The Pagan Experience – Week 2 – Personal Practice

Wk 2- Jan. 12- Personal Practice- Share your favorite spiritual/magickal practices. What tools are incorporated into your daily practice? What feeds you and replenishes you?

My first answer is my daily rituals. Going to shrine first thing, when my head is still hazy with sleep, and saying the words I’ve said many times before, and feeling that call to awakeness, and tasting that first sip of water to break my fast, an offering to the gods. That moment of peace once I have offered light, water, the sound of bells, and incense, and just standing back in the silence. To feel that soft cool caress of the last vestiges of the night air on the breeze through my window as I stand before the shrine, and that liminal moment where the heat moves in and oppresses the chill. Feeling both Sobek’s farewell, and Heru’s return, in that soft, intermingling air. That moment of peace, knowing Set has triumphed, and Ra has survived another night.

And then, in the utter stillness of the late evening, when the house is silent, and the air is wonderfully cool on my skin, to be at shrine again, and calling to Sobek. Offering light, and water, and bells, and incense, into that silent peace. To offer precious water in the middle of summer, here in Australia, and understanding, much like the ancient Egyptians, just how precious it could be in a hot climate. Sobek’s coolness washes through the night, waves crashing over me, bringing peace and safety. I have watched the dancing candle flame reflected in the waters of the libation bowl, and felt the kiss of the gods upon my lips.

That daily cycle, breathing in and breathing out, the silence and stillness, is what replenishes me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

The Pagan Experience – Week 1 – Resolutions

I’ve been looking for a way back into more regular blogging here, and I’ve seen The Pagan Experience turning up through my reading circle in a variety of places, and thought I’d give it a go. And since the first prompt is ‘resolutions’, what better place to start? Not that I’ve ever been particularly good at resolutions, New Years or otherwise. Perhaps it’s my general lack of ambition. IDK. But what the hell. Let’s give this a try.

I guess the only real resolution I have in mind is what I want to be more conscious of setting aside time to write blog posts, and keep things updated, rather than just waste all my time and be forever catching up. When you don’t have a proper job, it’s easy to get caught in that trap of just randomly wasting the day on the interwebs, and I really don’t want to let that be my life. I’ve been keeping a daily planner, ostensibly for my rituals and festivals, to keep me on track, but also for other mundane things that crop up. It’s also a way to record my word count each day (if I write every day; still working on that one.) Maybe I need to pencil in some time each week for this, as a way to begin putting some sort of structure together. Start small, and work up from there, I think.

Either it’ll work, or it won’t, but I won’t gain anything from not trying. So we’ll sit down maybe tomorrow, and decide when the best time to do this is, and try to keep to it. If I can keep this blog regularly updated for at least three months, I’ll be happy with that as progress, and I can build it up from there. I’ll probably have a better idea of my schedule by then, once this volunteering thing (fkn Centrelink) gets sorted out (somehow). Anyway. Best get on with the next one, so I can be all caught up, for now. I’ll do another post about Heru later, once I have gathered my thoughts on that.