So Masrai came to Bakhu

I haven’t talked much about Masrai on here, since it was just a fictional pantheon as far as I was concerned. I don’t mean that to say that just because it’s fictional, it doesn’t mean anything. I say that to clarify that Masrai, and the gods of Her pantheon, came from somewhere in my head, and are not, as far as I know, gods that might once have existed in this world. I don’t know everything, of course, and the astral being what it is, there’s every chance that alternate universes exist, and who knows what might have been, and what happens to gods that were long-forgotten. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent a bit more time with these gods and maybe it’s one of those ‘name it and it comes to life’ things that characters often get. Maybe it’s different because they’re gods. I don’t know.

That said, I’ve kept a shrine to Masrai and some of Her other gods for a while now, mostly to keep that energy flowing in as I work on those novels. I don’t know why, but something told me to build a shrine, that this was important to give these gods a physical space in my room. Still, in spite of that, I haven’t done much in the way of worship. I didn’t really know what ritual forms to use, since these gods departed Egypt during Mythic Time, and have spent the rest of their lives in the Libyan desert. (In this story, at any rate. I can’t say what they did here, if they ever existed here at all.) But I still kept a shrine for them.

I’d never really had much more than a faint impression from Masrai as I wrote Her myths down, like something deeper had touched my mind, but nothing in terms of speaking or seeing Her. Writing Her myths down was never important for the novel, either. It’s extra information. But I don’t often buy fancy red handmade books and begin writing myths down for gods. I haven’t even done that for Sobek. But there was something about Masrai that made me start this book, and commit to finishing it. I am sure She gave me all the words, and now all I need to do is finish it.

But Monday’s meditation signalled that things had gone up a notch, and that this pantheon needs more from me than I was giving them. Woo warning, for those who need it. This is a bunch of weird shit even I am surprised by, so.

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Di Wep Ronpet Nofret!

IDK, I was going to do my State of the Shrines update post today, because I finally redid the shrines yesterday, but I have made three drafts now, and changed the shrines up just as many times since then, so. I am taking this as a sign that I need to let things sit a while before I can show them off properly.

I will say, though, that the one thing I am doing is that I am stripping the shrines back to nothing. No tools, no candles, no incense, nothing. Just the gods. I’ve had this feeling lately that my shrines are just too full. There’s just too much stuff on them, and there’s stuff there I never use. The energy was just not right.

I always redo the shrines after Wep Ronpet anyway, so that wasn’t a problem. It did take me until yesterday to actually do that. This Wep Ronpet has had a weird energy. The Epagomenal days were weird, but I expect that. They are outside time, they’re meant to be weird. I also accidentally decided to just do my rituals for the gods on each of their birthdays, and not bother with my regular rituals. My rituals were ad-libbed, for the most part. I loosely – and lazily – followed the structure of my morning ritual, but only so far as anointing myself with oil, then offering a hymn, then water libations and finally anointing their faces with oil. Then there was meditation. I set my timer for 15 minutes, and started with two rounds of chanting using the lapis mala I made for Isis. The chants varied: Dua Wesir, Dua Heru, Dua Setekh; Ama Aset; Neh-beh-tet (slowly).

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Monasticism and other weird shit

In  many ways, it’s been a very strange month. I guess I expected nothing less when Hekate decided to come by and change everything. I’m okay with it, even though I feel like I’m moving down a path I’m very unfamiliar with. There’s a whole lot of so much more I can’t find the words to talk about right now, except She’s basically taken over my NaNo fic this year, and everything right now is just … complicated. I have a lot of NaNo prep to do, that She’s asking me to do, and what the end result of that is, I don’t know. I’ll just sit down and write and see what happens.

The monasticism is … sort of new. It’s been a vague interest for a number of years, but I never really took the plunge with it until now. It’s that bridge between priest and devotee which is sort of neither, and doesn’t involve caring for open statues (which I am not built for). Kemetic monasticism is a strange beast that I am still beginning to wrestle with in terms of how do you even do that and why. But at the last deipnon, when I was with Hekate, there were Sobek and Heru, welcoming me through a door, that they were ready for me now, and so I have new rites, and a new ritual book, and a thousand things I still don’t understand. That’s a whole separate post in and of itself, but I’ll save that for later when I’m more confident I know what it is I’m actually building.

Hekate keeps pushing me towards magic and witchcraft. I’m watching Supernatural for the first time for NaNo genre inspiration. This phrase, this character, ‘the Black Priest’, is haunting me now, and I wish I had the coherency to talk about that, too. All I know is Hekate is taking me down a road, and it’s a confusing road, but for whatever daft reason, I trust Her enough to know She’s not leading me anywhere nasty. Different, perhaps. Challenging, most certainly. I don’t even know what the end game is, nor am I sure I want to know.

Also, Isis-Renenutet-Hekate-Mary is doing my head in idek. I get headaches just trying to parse out that confusing syncretic mess. /ow. I even have a statue of Mary now, which has only taken me most of my life to get brave enough to buy. I don’t even understand that. For whatever daft reason, she seems to like me, so okay, sure. I’ve also had Isis, Mary, and Hekate appear together in meditation twice now, so this is not just a weird fluke. There’s something here, but I have nfi what. I mean, I know what the connection is. I can trace it. But WHY idek. WHY.

I don’t always like doing posts like this, where nothing is really certain and I’m just rambling on about woo and vagaries. But it’s been nearly a month since I last posted, and I felt I needed to write something else now, just to elucidate where my brain is right now. Where this ends up, I have nfi. I’m sure it’ll be fun finding out, though.

I have a Poseidon problem

As such, I need to get this mini shrine kit to Poseidon out of my house a.s.a.p. I’ll even ship it for the cost of postage alone if it means he leaves me be.

Basically, he turned up during meditation a few months ago during one of my High Day rites, and then got pissed when I said no to him after he asked for the sort of intimacy I reserve strictly for the gods I serve as priest. I’ve never encountered him before then, nor had any significant relationship with him. I wasn’t opposed to having a relationship with him before then, but if that’s the way you greet a potential devotee, and then get pissed when they say no, I want nothing more to do with you. (I am still considering cursing his name anyway and having a good ol’ execrating, but we’ll see if this is all it’ll take before we resort to that.)

See, apparently he’s been sending spirits and other shadowy things to Bakhu to attack me. I fought one a while back and did some warding, but apparently it wasn’t enough and Hekate had to cocoon me (Her words) to protect me.  Which explains why I’ve been having so much trouble getting to Bakhu recently, because Hekate’s been stopping me from getting there. And now it’s come to a head and this shrine kit needs to go.

Someone else might just throw it out, and it might come to that, but I thought I’d at least offer it to any Poseidon devotees first. Please spread this around if you know someone who might be interested, and tell them to get in touch if they’d like to have it. Please help me get Bakhu back and stop him invading my space.

IDK, you do one full moon ritual to Isis…

So it was the full moon on Monday, and I’m getting back into the swing of marking the moon cycles, with noumenia and the full moon penciled in at the moment. Hekate’s getting noumenia, and Isis the full moon. So that’s a thing now. And so I did the libation rite for Isis, for lack of any other ritual ideas, and settled in for meditation with Her, because She’s been wanting to reconnect with me since I got the new statue, which is nice. And somehow, not surprising.

Isis has always been in and out of my life, over the past sixteen years or so. And it’s been a while since we’ve had a proper devotional relationship. Actually, I think the last time I had anything like the daily devotional practices I have now with Her was back when I first started out, when I’d light incense for Her before school, and read out that prayer of awakening from The Mysteries of Isis. In some ways, I’m not surprised She’s asked to be back in my daily devotions again. But I can’t say I expected Her to request it last night. But I’m willing to go with it, if that’s what She wants.

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Mysteries and Initiation

I wanted to write about this before, but I needed the chance to digest everything from Monday, just to make sure I had everything straight in my head. It’s been a intense Mysteries of Wesir this year, though at least I had some forewarning from Hekate about during the last noumenia. Knowing something is going to happen is never quite the same as going through it, though.

Warnings for epic amounts of woo and UPG, if that bothers you, but I feel the need to document all this here, just so it’s down on paper. Er. Well. On the Intarwebs. You know what I mean. Also, there is discussion of the Pillars of the Naos meditations, and there may be spoilers for those who haven’t finished that first month yet.

The tl;dr version, for anyone who doesn’t want the details is: initiation by gods is A Thing, and now Everything’s Changed, and apparently this makes me a priest now. Or something. IDK. *flails about*

If you want details, it’s after the cut.

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Hibernation

It’s nearly time for the Spring Equinox, and I feel like I might finally be coming up for air. Or, at least, emerging from the dark time. It’s been a very deep and introspective time. Not quite a Fallow Time, but more … introverted. Lots of internal stuff going on, as well as being busy with things in the mundane world. Trying and failing to write things, trying and failing to find a job, trying not to go mad and smash things because politics, the usual. It makes for a strange disconnect, sometimes, when I try to reconcile the normality of life, with all the other spiritual stuff. A lot’s happened, and I’m alright. It’s still been a weird winter, but it’s time to re-emerge, and I’ve felt that urge to write again, and re-engage with the world.

So, er, bear with me, if this post gets a little long, and rambly. I will probably need more posts to go into things in more detail, if necessary, but this is what’s on my mind at the moment. I hope this all comes out coherently. It’s still a little muddled in my head.

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Artemis and Other Things

General caveat: This post is pretty much meditational logs and UPG and other assorted ~woo~ things. If you’re not interested, just skip back to the pretty shrine pictures. ❤

Specific caveat: There is discussion here about meditational things I experienced while doing the Pillars of the Naos devotions last month (March 2014), as part of the Covenant of Hekate, including the things found during the last week of meditations. If you’re currently doing the devotions, I’d avoid reading this post until you’re finished with the month-long devotions, to avoid spoilers and whatnot. Which is why it’s all under a cut, so you can’t read it unless you click through. Your choice.

And now that’s out of the way, read past the cut for epic Artemis things, and other assorted updates regarding myths, and Heru, and other things.

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Bakhu

I don’t know why I feel like talking about Bakhu just now, but I’ve been doing devotional art all day*, and perhaps it’s just on my mind. It’s sort of become the place I meet Sobek in meditations, and IDK. Sometimes I get proddings to share things, so have some UPG woo. I can’t share some of what I’ve seen in Bakhu, because it’s too personal and Mystery-ish related, but there are some more general things I can talk about.

This sort of ties in a lot with my conception of Sobek as the Evening Star/Night Boat, complementing Heru-sa-Aset as the Morning Star/Day Boat. I might do a post on that at a later date, to sort of flesh that out a bit more. It’s sort of linked to the Wesir/Ra dynamic, except, not quite, if that makes sense. So yeah. Bakhu. Have some UPG meanderings on Bakhu.

* Check my dA; I’ve put some of them up. Sobek as Creator, and Sobek as the Night Boat were completed today. The rest were done a while ago.

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