Overdue update

I’ve been meaning to write in here for a while now, but I kept forgetting, or not having the time. It comes with working full time, I guess, though I won’t complain about working at all. Money is good, and a job is good, and I’m pretty sure Hermes had a hand in this somewhere along the line.

My practice is still going, though it’s pared down to just morning and evening devotions, as that’s really all I have the brain for right now. I’ve started washing Heru’s statue in the libation water this week, at His request. It doesn’t really change the ritual very much; I just sit His statue in a flat bowl and pour the libation over Him. He seems to appreciate it. He mentioned something about it washing away the isfet of the night for Him. If I were a better artist, I’d draw some of the images I’ve had during my commute meditations, but I’m just not that good. Not good enough to bring them to life, at any rate.

The only other thing of note is I picked up this tiny copper cauldron at the op shop I work at, and I’ve begun putting some of my change in there every day when I get home from work as an offering to Hermes for keeping me safe on my travels. This was His suggestion, and to use the money to buy Him an offering with it later, or whenever it feels appropriate. I might pick something up for Him on Sunday. I’m going to a local Pagan meet-up, and there is this ridiculous crystal/new age/paganish shop there that I might be able to find something in.

Anyway, I’m going to leave this here, since I am technically at work, and I have things to do today. Like make lots of phone calls. :D?

Happy Solstice!

Winter Solstice hearth 2015

This year’s hearth shrine for our midwinter feast. Greenman/Wild Hunt theme. This is the best photo I managed to take, so sorry it’s a bit blurry. My phone will only do so much.

I hope everyone has had a blessed Solstice. We had our midwinter feast last night, and it was a lovely evening. I’m really enjoying being able to share the Solstice with friends, even if they’re not Pagan. Pictured above is my decorated hearth for this year’s feast. I get to decorate the hearth, and it’s always a lot of fun. I went with a Greenman/Wild Hunt sort of theme. Also, you can’t really see it too well, but there is some ivy tucked up there behind it all, because I can’t not have any greenery at all.

At least we had some good wintery weather. It rained all day, and the wind was fierce. There was even some thunder in the evening. Really set the mood, and made us want to settle in for a good roast and pudding. Dad even made some mulled wine, though it still wasn’t enough to make me like wine. Mum wasn’t so keen on it, either, but eh. Everyone else seemed to like it, which is fine by me. Mum made some little figgy puddings in muffin tins, and there’s still a bunch left over. We had some of the pork for lunch today. Our fridge is filled with leftovers. It is glorious. And the sun has been out for most of the day today, so obvs our feasting worked, and the sun decided to come back wooooo. <3

I’ll be doing a simple ritual this evening to mark the Solstice for myself. I’m working tomorrow, so I don’t want to do a full ritual, but I’ll do something small, and offer some water anyway. I think I might also do my First Oath ritual, since I had pencilled it in for Solstice, and I think I’m almost happy with the wording I picked. But we’ll see. I’ll decide this afternoon how I want to do that, and how I want to incorporate those things.

While I’m thinking of DP things, I did make a DP blog, even if it is mostly empty. There was some other stuff I wanted to put there, but haven’t got around to it for various reasons. I’ve actually written more in my paper journal than the blog suggests, and there are some things I want to put up on the blog for posterity/ponderings. Anyway. If you want to follow it, go ahead. Don’t expect consistent regular updates. I’m doing this at my own pace, in between everything else, and giving myself time to really think about everything. I don’t want to rush it.

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TPE – Wk 11 – Relationships with the Gods

Week 11 – Deity and the Divine – Mar 16
This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you.

Optional: What is your relationship with the Divine? Is it Devotional? Collaborative? An agreement of reciprocity? How does this engagement flow into your mundane relationships? or Does it?

Most of my relationships with the gods are devotional. But it does change and vary depending on the god, and what the purpose of the relationship is. For Sobek and Heru, I make daily libations to Them, and keep a shrine and naos for Them. They are the main gods I serve, and They get the most from me. Other gods fit in around that, depending on what They want.

I’ve always seen myself as Sobek’s servant, and this is why I’ve always avoided classifying myself as some sort of godspouse, in spite of the sacred D/s aspects of our relationship, because I don’t feel that’s the right dynamic for our relationship. Yes, I wear a collar for Him, and there is a sexual aspect to our relationship, but it’s not a spousal relationship at all, and I don’t think we want that anyway, even if Heru weren’t involved.

The Sobek/Heru thing is weird, though. I’m still trying to figure it out. Sobek is shorthand for both, but if I took Heru out of the shrine, it would feel like I’d broken it in half. The Sobek I worship is very Heru-like. Heru is there too, in His own way, but I definitely think it’s Sobek with Heru, rather than Heru with Sobek. It’s hard to explain it more without writing another 5k post of UPG weirdness, I think.

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TPE – Wk 10 – As Above, So Below

What do you seek from the Divine? How is that reflected in the mundane? Where do you find your place of synthesis?

IDK if it’s just me, but I’m not fond of the wording of this prompt. But I’ll do my best anyway. I’ll also use gods instead of ‘The Divine’, because the latter isn’t relevant to my theology or practice. I don’t really have any unified concept of ‘The Divine'; it makes no sense to me in a polytheistic framework. Others may disagree, but for me, it doesn’t work, so I won’t use it.

And, of course, this changes the nature of the question, because what I seek from my gods really depends on the god. The nature of our relationships are always different, depending on the work we need to do together. Sometimes, it’s not what I seek from Them, but what They seek from me. Sometimes, they just turn up and say hi. Because gods idek.

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Mysteries and Initiation

I wanted to write about this before, but I needed the chance to digest everything from Monday, just to make sure I had everything straight in my head. It’s been a intense Mysteries of Wesir this year, though at least I had some forewarning from Hekate about during the last noumenia. Knowing something is going to happen is never quite the same as going through it, though.

Warnings for epic amounts of woo and UPG, if that bothers you, but I feel the need to document all this here, just so it’s down on paper. Er. Well. On the Intarwebs. You know what I mean. Also, there is discussion of the Pillars of the Naos meditations, and there may be spoilers for those who haven’t finished that first month yet.

The tl;dr version, for anyone who doesn’t want the details is: initiation by gods is A Thing, and now Everything’s Changed, and apparently this makes me a priest now. Or something. IDK. *flails about*

If you want details, it’s after the cut.

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TPE Wk9 – Knowledge, Wisdom, and Gnosis

Week 9 – Knowledge, Wisdom, and Gnosis – Mar 2
What do these words mean to you? How do express these principles in your spiritual work? Is any one more important than the other? Why?

Knowledge, wisdom, and gnosis are all important to my practice. They all inform each other, and I would be poorer if even one was missing. I might not be much of a recon, but I still do my research, because it informs my practice. I still use experience to decide what to do, based on what’s worked for me before. Gnosis is how the gods in old books come alive in my own experience.

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TPE Wk8 – Coming Out As Pagan

Week 8 – Any writing for the letters C or D – Feb. 23
Any writing for the letters C or D- I am keeping this familiar format on week 4 for those who have joined me from the Pagan Blog Project.

Coming Out As Pagan
I am so behind on all my TPE posts, and it’s partly because I couldn’t settle on a topic for this particular week, but anyway. This is on my mind right now, so this is what you’re getting. I can’t say this will be organised; it may end up being a long ramble like most of my posts like this tend to be. Anyway. Have some thoughts on Coming Out As A Pagan, subtitle: Or why I find this concept far less terrifying than coming out as trans* and nonbinary.

I guess I’m drawing on something I’ve seen around the traps lately, and having that feeling like I need to be more visibly Pagan. And I don’t mean that in any sort of obnoxious, in your face, sort of way. I’m a job seeker; I ain’t daft. It’s more subtle, and it’s particularly drawing on a growing sense of embodying the role of a priest, like it’s finally fitting in a way it never did three years ago. I’ve spent my time with Hekate, with Artemis, even with Isis, incubated in this transitionary cocoon, and it’s beginning to feel like that period of preparation is coming to a close.

With it has come a growing sense of wanting to be seen, to be open about my practices, to not be afraid of being seen as Sobek’s priest. To wear that in public, even if it’s not in a way people would understand unless they asked. There will be a ring, and a pendant, and cords, but that’s it. The ring and the pendant are on their way, and there will be some rituals once they arrive to dedicate them to Sobek.

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Mysteries and Sacred Fires

Mysteries of Wesir shrine 2015

This year’s shrine set up for the Mysteries of Wesir. My seated figure of Wesir sits in the back shrine, covered and concealed. On the offering plate, my smaller figure of Wesir is wrapped and bound with amulets, and lies in a wooden boat. He is surrounded by Anubis, Heru-sa, Aset, Nebthet, and the four sons of Heru.

I’ve been in quite a reflective, introspective mood in the lead-up to this year’s Mysteries. I had wanted to post a bit more, but instead, I’m sitting here in thought, sitting in the silence. A lot of internal stuff is happening that I don’t really feel ready to talk about yet. Perhaps after Yule, idk. I’ve had the shrine prepared for nearly a month. The Equinox came and went with little fanfare, because the Mysteries were upon me now, and I felt they were more important. I do love the Mysteries. I love that quiet, gentle time that it ushers in. And spending time with Wesir is never wasted time.

I always feel like the time between now and the winter solstice in June is a time of cocooning and solitude. It’s a time for re-evaluation and preparation. And I do have a lot to prepare for. Hekate’s Rite of Her Sacred Fires takes place tomorrow, the day of the Night Vigil, and I’m still deciding how to arrange all that. I can’t stay up all night, because I need to be up early for work, but I still want to spend at least an hour in shrine with Wesir, reciting the Lamentations and offering libations.

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Hello internet

I’ve been on a bit of a sabbatical, because RL family drama I’m not willing to go into publicly, and I just did not have the brain or spoons to update here. But most of that seems to have calmed down, and I’m able to think a little clearer now. I am behind on TPE posts, and other posts I wanted to make, and they may or may not turn up at some point, we’ll see.

What I sort of hate about The Pagan Experience topics is that they are very Thinky, and I can’t write anything decent about them when I can’t sit and think about those topics for very long. Kudos for that, but it does make it hard to just thrash out a response in an hour on a whim. I need to write all the drafts before I’m able to settle on something I like that isn’t totally shite and just me rambling for a thousand words. (I am also a bit tired of the ‘…and what does $word ~mean~ to you?’ phrasing of the suggested topics, and that might be grating on my desire to sit and thrash out drafts because I cbf ~defining my terms~ before I begin, because this isn’t a fucking university essay, but whatever. I mean, some words just don’t have that sort of broad flexibility in definition, y’know? :/)(This is where my logical grammar pedant is winning out over my Arts graduate’s feelpiniony inclinations.)

Still, at least I am thinking about them when I open my file every so often, and look at the topics, and ponder wtf I am going to say, and then close the file several hours later, having written not very much. I might actually go back and reword some of them, or perhaps find other topics to write about, just so I can make some progress, and get them written. I don’t like leaving this blog sitting idle with no content, and the more I write when I have the time, the more I can plan ahead when I’m feeling shite, so.

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The Pagan Experience – Week 7 – Hermes

Deity and the Divine- This will be the third week’s topic every month and an opportunity for you to share with everyone those who guide, inspire and inform you.

I thought about using these monthly god posts to talk about all the gods I work with, but tbh, I think it’s more interesting to talk about which gods have been most present or on my mind during the month, so that’s what I’m going to do. I think that offers a better insight into my practice and what I do than just rambling on about all my gods.

So. This month, it can only be one god: Hermes.

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