This site is now archived

It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with this site. Since rejoining the House of Netjer and returning to Kemetic Orthodoxy, I’ve felt like perhaps it was time to move on from here. Not from Per Sebek as a concept, of course, but from this particular iteration of it. I feel like I’ve done all the work I need to do here, and so, it’s time to start again.

I’m not going to delete this site, of course. It’s still a valuable record of the last decade of my practice, and is still an excellent resource for all the writings and rituals and other things I’ve written over the years. One day, I would like to collect all my rituals and hymns into a single volume for people to reference, but that’s for later on, I think. These rites are still valuable and useful to people who aren’t Kemetic Orthodox, so I still want them to remain available to people. After all, that’s why I wrote them and posted them in the first place.

But like all the magical detritis I kept under my altar from previous practices that I hadn’t touched in years, this place feels the same. It’s time to move on. I’m working on another site now, still called Per Sebek, but that will be a clean slate for all the new work I’m going to be doing now. It will be focused on my Kemetic Orthodox practice, so if that’s not your thing, that’s cool. But I want a new place to document my path and the things I’m doing now, so.

My new site will be over at https://www.persebek.org/ – it’s very bare-bones right now and I still need to flesh out the actual structure of it, so don’t mind any stray notes and such you find there. But please bookmark it if you want to continue to follow my path. Please also see my shrine videos on youtube if you like that sort of thing. I don’t think I’ll do more with that channel than post shrine videos and maybe other things, but we’ll see. It’s there if you want it.

I’d like to thank everyone who read and commented here on being a part of this journey, and hope you’ll all come with me on this next step. ❤

senebty,

Emiti

 

This site needs a new home

Honestly, I was going to come here and post a hymn to Sobek I’d written, only to find that this new unified navigation has turned up and now my wp-admin dashboard is unnavigable, confusing, and impossible to use. I’ve thought about moving the site before, when the block editor came and they deprecated the classic editor, because I find the block editor impossible to use and far too bright and hard on my eyes.

I’m conscious of wanting to make all my rituals and hymns and such accessible to everyone, and I’m probably not going to delete this site, just keep it as an archive, but I’m not sure where to move to that will make it easy to keep these resources available for everyone while also giving me a place to blog. I’m not sure what the solution is yet. I’m not averse to paying for something good that’s going to do the job for me, but I’d rather not at this stage, and the blogging landscape has changed so, so much since I last looked into this sort of thing. So this will stay for now, but there will be a new home somewhere because I can’t keep using a site that keeps making it harder and harder for me to use.

Prayers that I can find the right solution for this and find Per Sebek a new home. ❤

Senut rite for Sobek, Lord of Love, February 13, 2021

Just a quick lil video of my Senut shrine last night. I made offerings to Sobek, Lord of Love, bc it’s Valentine’s Day today, and it felt right. ❤ Offered bread, water, and chocolates, which He did appreciate. ❤ I asked Him to bless my relationship with my partner, and take care of us. ❤

Sobek, as Lord of El-Harageh or Lord of Lights, is also one of today’s chronokrater, or Time Lords, the gods who are over the day, which is very nice too. I might give Him some extra offerings tonight just because. ❤

Hekate’s Deipnon, February 11, 2021

Offerings to Hekate on the deipnon.

So it occurred to me that perhaps I ought to start posting my lil youtube vids over here for you all to see, in case you don’t know that I post shrine videos over there. They’re nothing substantial, just short little videos of my shrines post-ritual, but it’s a good record of my practice for me.

The above video is from my last deipnon/dark moon ritual for Hekate. Offerings were a sesame seed, lavendar, and rose petal mix, some rum, and also another plate of rose petals. I’ve moved my Hellenic shrine to the north side of my room, if only so I have more space for rituals, and so I can use my desk for writing and to keep my books close.

I may do more with these posts in the future, and I should maybe do another one about my grimoires perhaps, but we’ll see. ❤

Weaving Threads Together

So, you know how sometimes you’re sure you wrote about a particular topic, but when you go to look for specific posts, all you find are bits and pieces all over the place and nothing comes together? Well, yes. This post is partly addressing that, but also some other things.

So, for anyone unfamiliar with Kemetic Orthodoxy’s Rite of Parent Divination (RPD), it’s conceptually a modern rite of passage that gives you the equivalent of regional or nome gods in the form of Parents and Beloveds. So for me, my Parent god is Sobek, and my Beloveds are Heru-sa-Aset, Aset, Djehuty, and Wepwawet. It’s taken me a long time to find the words for how I conceived this over the past decade, as I got stuck into regional cultus and embracing a lot of the Faiyum mythos and trying to build up a cultus for Sobek that was more complete in terms of actual myths and cosmology and festivals and whatnot.

But there’s been some discussion on the HoN boards and discord that have finally given me the words for what I’ve been trying to do. I was mostly on the right track, but what I was missing was the concept of my gods being like my own personal temple, with Sobek as the primary god, and my Beloveds as being like the gods in the side chapels. And since I’ve been idly wanting to do my own version of the Book of the Faiyum with my own Sobek Shedety myths involved, embracing the concept of this being my own Temple in the Faiyum makes a lot more sense of everything I’ve been trying to do.

And thinking on this some more, I think I’m going to end up completely rejigging this whole blog. It’s felt cluttered for a long time now and I feel it’s time to tidy it up and refresh it for this new chapter of my path. I’ll keep everything up, of course, but it might end up in a different place. I want to simplify the navigation and make this much more like the virtual temple I’ve always envisioned it to be. So bear with me as I mess around with things and get this place sorted and more in line with my old-new Kemetic Orthodox path. ❤

 

A Plan for the New Year

a photograph of an egyptian altar with a statue of Sobek at the centre, Sekhmet on the left, and Hetheru on the right, along with candles, some crystals, and offerings for the New Year.

New Years Eve Senut shrine.

The process of shifting my brain back into working within a Kemetic Orthodox framework is slow, but progressing. It’s taking some adjustment, but it’s good so far. The biggest things I’ve learned so far is that a) daily Senut is far easier for my brain to handle if I give myself permission to do it at night, and b) I don’t have to keep writing rituals for everything, I can just make extra offerings during Senut if I feel like it.

It is making me happy though. Everything just feels right, like this is just what my ka needs right now. I’ve had some success in contacting Sobek and other gods as well, and making a little progress with my Sau work, so I’m feeling good about this now.

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Reorientation and Transitions

This pair of Docs very much encapsulates my entire year. I don’t really go much into metaphors and whatnot, but this very much represents where I am now and how much I’ve changed and what I’ve left behind to get to this point, and where I am going next.

The context for why these Docs mean so much is that I’ve wanted a pair since I was 15 years old, but they were always too expensive, and I was never confident enough to feel I could wear them well either. But I was a confused queer kid who was shy and quiet at school and very slowly growing into myself, struggling without the words I needed to name myself correctly.

And now, at 36-and-11-1/2-months, I now own my first pair of Docs. Because, like everything in my life, I’m now ready for them.

I’m very much not the sort of person who does yearly Tarot draws, but if I’d done one this year, it might very well have shown me The Tower, because that’s very much been the energy that’s flowed through this whole year. Not just in terms of the world, but also in terms of me shedding a lot of things I’ve needed to shed, but didn’t have the push I needed to shed them until I was forced to do so.

My brain has been stressed in very intense ways this year that I’m very much still understanding. I’m even more certain that I’m autistic, though I’m not in a hurry to chase diagnosis bc it’s very much too expensive and out of reach here in my state. But it is helping me make sense of the how and why of myself, which has been useful. It’s making me look for better ways of dealing with stress, anxiety, and frustration that actually work and make me feel better.

I’ve rejoined the House of Netjer and Kemetic Orthodoxy as well. I’m a Shemsu again, and working my way through the beginner’s lessons again as I reaquaint myself with this religion again. I’m still trying to decide how I want my shrines to work now, and will post updates on that when I have things mostly settled down.

Maybe for some of you, you might think it can’t be that hard to reorient yourself to a similar flavour of Kemetic practice, but I haven’t been a shemsu for a decade now, and the House has changed a lot. I’m relearning a lot of things, and getting to know new people and new structures, and how things are working now. It’s very much A Lot to work through. Hence, reorientation, and the shift in calendar.

It’s getting my head around how to do things now and what routines and rituals are going to look like now. I’ve toyed for years with daily morning rituals, but I don’t know if I’m going to return to them. I have a feeling ten minutes of meditation is all I need, though I may ritualise it a little bit. This year has really drained my energy for morning ritual so I don’t know if I’ll do that now. So if I’m not doing that, then it comes down to what do I do instead, and that’s a question I’m still finding the answer to. I want to do Senut regularly, but not sure how regularly yet, nor when would be a good time. How I keep my shrines, and what I do at them, is also under review, as is Hekate’s place in things. She has stepped back for now, but I will come back to Her in February and see how things look then.

But there’s also been a significant reorientation in my life as well, given I went back to uni to become a librarian, and thus reorienting myself from a rando with a BA into someone with an actual profession. It hasn’t been easy, of course, because online study in the middle of a pandemic has not been easy for anyone, but somehow I got to the end of the year with mostly successes. I’ve also just completed my three weeks of library prac and came out of it feeling much more confident about my capacity to do this job now.

I fell in love, too, which wasn’t something I had anticipated or was looking for either. I’d been single for a very long time, and had accepted that. I was happy. And now I have a wonderful partner, even though they’re so far away from me in the UK. It’s hard. But somehow we’re still together. And I’m going to go see them when I can travel again, so I can hold them and kiss them and know for certain that they’re the one I’m going to marry.

Add to this a queer friend of mine sharing this video of Ivan Coyote, and a whole lotta stuff fell into place in my head, bc I finally felt I had the language to see what I’d spent most of my life trying to be. I’m still genderfluid, but butch was the missing piece. That’s what I’ve been trying to be since I was a kid, but without knowing the word for it. As I became more acquainted with queer culture, I learned about the word butch, but never felt it was mine, possibly because I assumed (incorrectly) that it was just a word that lesbians used, and as I’m bisexual, I dismissed it as Not Mine. But it is mine, and it fits now. I’ve finally grown into it. Those boots are proof of that.

My gender has evolved a lot this year, especially as I started buzzing my hair consistently and not just bc lockdown. That’s something I had been thinking of doing for a long time now, mostly in a priestly context, but never being brave enough to do it. What got me this time? My undercut grew out too long during lockdown to the point of borderline dysphoria so I buzzed it all off one night in April. I’ve had an undercut once since then. I just buzz it now. Also I’m now out to my brother as genderfluid and he’s on board with using they/them pronouns for me. ❤

So I’m in this strange place now where I’ve changed a lot, and where I was at the start of the year is very much not where I am now. But so much of this is good and necessary and things that I want that I can’t really be negative about it. Sometimes you do have to burn yourself into ashes to come out of it as who you really need to be. And rebirth is uncomfortable, and difficult, and you end up having to relearn things. It’s like buying a new pair of Docs, and knowing you’ll have to slowly break them in until they’re moulded to your feet. That’s where I am now, in a whole new place, with shoes I now need to grow into, and not really knowing where I’m going, but trusting that Sobek knows the way and will guide me where I need to go. So expect this to be a messy process over the next few months, while I settle into this new place. But I know this is where I need to be. I’m much happier here. Much more myself. I’m 37 in a couple of weeks, and very ready to see what life brings me next.

State of the Shrines, September 2020

(^Watch for sleeping cat on shrine. <3)

So. A lot’s changed in my practice this year. And because of that, I felt I needed to mark that by doing another State of the Shrines. A big reason for this is also due to me going back to Kemetic Orthodoxy and the House of Netjer. It’s not something I expected, but it’s where Sobek feels I need to be right now, so that’s where I’m going. I’m not sure just yet why I have work to do there, but I do know it’s part of my path shifting in focus from internal self-directed work to more community-focused external work, so we’ll see what happens and where Sobek takes me next.

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An update, I guess?

idk, this is probably going to be a bit rambly, but like everyone, a lot’s happened since February, and I’m only just beginning to find some clear air to process it all. Not gonna do a lot of mundane stuff here, but things are okay where I am, for the moment, anyway. Kinda glad to be living in the most isolated capital city in the world with an actually competent State govermnent. ❤

I’ve really only started to Do Things during the past month, and turn my focus back on my practice. Mostly, I’m just doing senut and/or simply offering incense in the morning, and I’ve gone back to Quan Yin practice in the evenings before bed, because I find that very calming. That’s the extent of my work right now, but that’s really only settled in the last week. Before that I felt sort of lost and not sure what on earth to do because everything just felt so overwhelming. We went from bushfires to pandemic to police brutality protests (and I was struggling with post-grad uni work!) and it was just A Lot to deal with all at once.

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State of the Shrines 2020

So it’s that time of year again, and I’m doing my usual State of the Shrines update for this year. I posted a little short room tour to my youtube above, if you want to see how my room’s looking now and where all the shrines are in relation to each other. My window is on the east side of the house.

I really have a very simple set-up this year. I only have two active shrines: my Kemetic altar, and my Hellenic altar. I have a few more passive shrines, though, to Mary, Quan Yin, and Bast. So it’s very pared down right now, but I honestly am appreciating that a lot because I’m tired of having six different things going on. Now, I can focus on my Kemetic stuff, and do my Hellenic work for the full and dark moons, and keep that more household stuff going at the same time.

So, without further preamble, here are my current shrines in all their glory.

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